Looking back now, my months of pregnant abstinence feel like a piece of cake compared to my very solitary, sober life as a breastfeeding Mom. And so, after watching 'formula moms' quaffing generous glasses of wine guilt-free, it's about time I confessed: 'Hi. My name is Catherine - and I'm in envy of the bottle-feeders.'
Why, you may ask, did the silly cow opt for breastfeeding in the first place? Well, let's see - there's the obvious 'wholesomeness' aspect. Not to mention the 'no mess no fuss' appeal. I mean, God gave us breasts for a reason right?
Oh how smug I was contemplating the convenience of it all: 'Just think of it', I told hubby, 'I'll be feeding him anywhere, anytime!'
There’s also the fact that most formula-babies I've known have ballooned pretty quickly - and the last thing I wanted was a little chubster on my hands. With this in mind, much of my pregnancy was spent poring over the breastfeeding pages of my baby book. When friends asked which bottles I'd be using, I assured them I had no need for that sort of thing.
And then came the moment of truth.
The day after his birth, we'd already nicknamed our little sucker The Piranha - and with 13 feeds a day, I soon discovered breastfeeding's not for sissies. I had raw nipples and a less-than-ample milk supply, plus my little treasure had become a permanent accessory.
Days and nights blurred into one – and while there were no bottles that needed cleaning, I was barely finding time to clean myself.
'Feeding on demand' is what it's called - and oh boy is it demanding! There I was, three days in, scoffing down my meals with one hand, while supporting baby's suckling head with the other.
I began to envy mothers who bottle fed: most of all, the almost inconceivable four hour stretches between feeds. There were even some women whose husbands took over the feeds when they 'needed a break'.
Four months down the line and I have STILL not been on a date with my long suffering hubby. The reason? Well, face it. I can't very well leave my boobs with the baby sitter, can I?
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I began to hear rumours of the 'bottle-feds’ sleeping through... I mean talk about rubbing it in! What on earth could they have been PUTTING in those bottles? And why was my little Angel still so fond of his midnight snacks?
Now granted, breastfeeding has helped kick the extra pregnancy weight - but does that beat sipping on a latte - or getting a full night's sleep? What's more, you don't exactly see a bottle-feeding Mom walking around with one boob bigger than the other!
Truth is, no matter how much it gets to me, I still wouldn't change a thing. While feeding to a schedule is tempting, nothing quite beats the connection breastfeeding brings. And while coffee and wine have their perks, I think I can hold off a bit longer. The way I see it, I'm giving my boobs a chance to explore their full potential. And what better time than now before the droop sets in?
Did you regret ever breastfeeding? Would you do anything differently?