Your newborn baby snuggles in your arms. You're still recovering from the birth and whether it was traumatic or perfect, it was trans-formative and you know you'll never be the same again.
You're adjusting to your new post-partum body as you recover from the experience of bringing life into the world.
Your clothes don't quite fit yet and you can feel your mind changing too, your attention 100% focused on feeding this tiny human, checking their breathing and tucking them in warm and snug.
There are a lot more changes ahead, you know, but for now you're getting to know your new normal as a parent.
As you search through your wardrobe looking for something to wear to mom group this week, one arm carrying the baby, the other the weight of clothes that aren't useful anymore, you'll wonder if you'll ever wear some of them again.
The answer is probably not. Skinny jeans and high neck jerseys generally aren't a new mom's favourite choice at first.
A few other items will come to mind. Perhaps it's time to de-clutter a little?
But as you wonder if the other new parents at the group will be friendlier to you if you're wearing this or that, please stop and consider these three things you won't be needing now that you're a new mom.
From now on, you don't need:
Other people's judgment
Other people are going to offer advice.
They're going to gently, or forcefully, tell you how to raise this baby, how to parent, school, feed and discipline your child.
You're going to want to listen to them, to take all the advice on board, always ready to explain and to respond, to prove you're a good parent.
To protect yourself from cruel observations and cutting comments, you're going to find ways to defend yourself.
But always being on the defense is no way to live. It's cumbersome, it's unsettling and it doesn't suit you.
When someone offers you their unsolicited advice, their unfounded judgement say: thank you... and let it go.
Could you have done things differently?
Would something have turned out better if you'd just tried harder, studied more, waited longer?
Will your child be ok with you as their mother?
Guilt is so last year. It's heavy, it's ugly, and it's unnecessary.
Take it off, put it down and leave it behind you.
You're going to ask yourself if you're good enough. You're going to wonder if you're doing a good job.
Are they eating enough? Are they sleeping enough? Are they watching too much TV? Will you be a great parent?
And if it goes wrong, is it all your fault?
You're the best mother that baby could have. Hold on to that, and throw the doubt out with the rest of the unnecessary junk you no longer want cluttering your life.
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