To my ex’s girlfriend

I don’t know you well, although you’ve been a part of our lives for some years now. I don’t how you really feel about being a step-mom, or almost-step-mom. We’ve not spent much time together, apart from greeting at the car when it’s time to fetch and carry. But I do know that my daughter loves you.

She’s happy to go with her daddy and you, she has a lovely time, and she always looks happy when she comes home. She chats about you and daddy easily, and never seems tense about her place with you. If she wasn’t okay, if you weren’t okay with her, I surely would have noticed after all these years. So I’d like to say thank you.

Thank you for sharing your partner with his daughter, thank you for understanding his responsibilities. Thank you for making my child feel comfortable in your home. Thank you for being the sort of person that she naturally includes in her list of ‘my family’.

If you and daddy have ever had issues about us, you’ve never made it my daughter’s problem, and she’s never noticed. Maybe that took some hard work, or maybe there weren’t any issues. Either way, thank you.

Thank you for being someone who I can calmly entrust my child’s safety and happiness to, and not worry about her when she’s with you.

Thank you for the times you’ve done her hair when I’ve run out of time. Thank you for making her feel like she belongs with you guys, and is not an outsider intruding on your life. Thank you for all the things you do that I will never get to see.

Thank you for being one more person to love her; an extra set of arms, another place she can go to feel safe. There are so many people out there in similar situations, who are not as lucky as we are. Thank you for being what so many others aren’t.

I don’t know how you feel about motherhood; whether it’s something you want or not. But I know that you’d do it well.

So, from the ex-girlfriend to the current girlfriend – comes deep and heartfelt thanks for being who you are. It means more than you know. I hope that I have not been too much of a pain over the years, I try so very hard not to be.

Oh, and of course we haven’t forgotten you Dad!  Maybe I don’t tell you as often as I should; you’re doing a great job. A good dad sometimes seems hard to find, and you’re doing your daughter proud.

Thank you both.

Can you say similarly kind things about your ex’s partner?

Read more by Tracy Engelbrecht
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