A reader shares how she deals with working mom guilt - 'Being available when it matters is critical'


Mosidi responded to the article 'I try not to feel guilty': DJ Zinhle and Enhle Mbali reflect on working mom guilt published recently on Parent24.

Where Dj Zinhle confessed,"I try not to feel guilty about how I am raising her and this translates into everything that I do. Because right now with Kairo I'm making the best decision according to me. If I feel like I could have done better in that moment then I feel guilty... But if it's beyond my control I try not to feel guilty."

"There is just a lot of messages from society, from friends, from everywhere telling you how you should mother your kids. And then you start using those messages to measure yourself and then that's where you fall short, because then you're just like oh then I'm not a good mom because..." 

Read Mosidi's story below.

Also read: Worrying about being a perfect mom makes it harder to be a good parent

"I saw the article regarding working mom guilt and I definitely had a lot of it. 

"I had a high-flying career and I felt so guilty because I would drop her off at playschool at 8 am and be back at 6:30 pm, just before bed time. And weekends I was so tired I could not play with her. It saddened me and I was always trying to make up. Ended up buying her lots of toys.

"Luckily for me the universe intervened and I lost that job and started my own business.

"I do spend quite a lot of time with her and take her to school but she is also growing up and spending time with her own friends and sometimes she is out playing and I don’t get to see her till about 5pm and then it’s supper and bed time. 

"The economic times in SA make it very hard for women not to work and I believe quality over quantity matters more. 

"My mom also worked and I did not resent her for it. So, sometimes we feel so guilty about things that are not real. I just think being available when it matters is critical

"Like being at a school concerts, when they are sick or just doing a “play date” with them so that they don’t feel abandoned or you feel guilty"

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