Sex and the single parent

accreditation

Liz, a distant relation, is an elegant woman, early thirties, career oriented and focused. In short she's a successful Ms Independent.

She's also a good single mum - you only have to speak to her two daughters aged 6 and 4 to find out how intelligent and well-adjusted they are.

However when it comes to her choice of men Liz loses some of her focus. After a disastrous first marriage I think she developed a commitment phobia.

Whenever I visit her she's shacking up with a different man. Her rate of 'men turnover' is anything between three and four months. As a result her kids have dropped the ‘uncle' tag and use the first name basis when referring to Liz's rainbow of bedroom friends.

Consciously or subconsciously Liz picks men who are also not willing to commit. After toying with a bedroom friend Liz gets tired of the man and tosses him away like a used tissue. She's addicted to variety.

If Liz was childless I wouldn't be concerned about her escapades. What example is she setting for her kids? If she carries on this irresponsible behaviour I worry that the girls will form a distorted view of relationships with members of the opposite sex - history tends to repeat itself.

This woman is oblivious of the risk of abuse that she’s exposing her daughters to by bringing an array of men into her home. My personal prescription? Liz should sort out her emotional baggage and get into a monogamous relationship-for her daughters’ sake.

I know many single parents who act responsibly in this regard. How single parents satisfy their sexual needs is their business.

But every parent should be aware of how his or her behaviour in this area is under the close scrutiny of the young ones under his or her care.

The ‘do as I say and not as I do' dogma never works with children.
Young ones see through the hypocrisy and follow their parents' behaviour. In my view parents should never do things which they do not want their children adopt in adulthood.

How do you as a single parents handle your sex lives? Email chatback@parent24.com and let us know your thoughts and tips. 

Read more: 

Sign up for our weekly newsletter to receive Parent24 stories directly to your inbox.   

We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. For 14 free days, you can have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Journalism strengthens democracy. Invest in the future today. Thereafter you will be billed R75 per month. You can cancel anytime and if you cancel within 14 days you won't be billed. 
Subscribe to News24
Voting Booth
The ANC's leadership race is heating up. Who do you think will be elected party president at Nasrec in December?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma has got it in the bag
6% - 12 votes
I foresee a second term for Cyril Ramaphosa
84% - 171 votes
Don’t discount a Zweli Mkhize win
10% - 20 votes
Vote
Rand - Dollar
17.83
+1.0%
Rand - Pound
19.40
-0.4%
Rand - Euro
17.35
-0.4%
Rand - Aus dollar
11.62
-0.3%
Rand - Yen
0.12
+0.5%
Gold
1,660.62
+1.9%
Silver
18.93
+2.9%
Palladium
2,156.00
+3.9%
Platinum
865.50
+1.4%
Brent Crude
86.27
+2.6%
Top 40
57,413
-0.4%
All Share
63,808
-0.3%
Resource 10
57,878
+1.6%
Industrial 25
78,523
-1.0%
Financial 15
14,099
-0.8%
All JSE data delayed by at least 15 minutes Iress logo
Editorial feedback and complaints

Contact the public editor with feedback for our journalists, complaints, queries or suggestions about articles on News24.

LEARN MORE