A Parent24 reader's letter to the person trying to give her unwarranted parenting advice:
"To the person giving me unasked for advice on my children:
When you, who I do not know and as a stranger, suggest to me that you know a hairdresser my daughter can use, I feel largely offended.
Just because my daughter does not look like me, does not mean that you know more about her well-being than I do.
You more than likely have a similar skin shade as my daughter but this does not mean that you understand what my daughter needs.
Yes my daughter and I do not share the same blood, but neither do you.
My daughter and I share a bond made through love and it is a very strong bond indeed.
You do not share a bond with my daughter.
You do not spend hours with her combing out her hair and lovingly plait and tie her hair.
This is our bonding experience.
Why would I let a 3-year-old spend hours at a hairdresser?
How do you know that she would like that or that I can afford it?
Do you know that you are in effect saying that you don't like my daughter's hairstyle and that alone is rather insulting, not only to me, but also to my baby.
How would you feel if someone made a tongue-in-cheek comment on your hairstyle?
Please remember that just because you can see that my precious daughter is adopted, doesn't mean you can assume that you know what is best for her.
If I wanted advice I would ask people that I know and trust.
So please, next time you offer this advice in front of my daughter, beware that I might not just politely decline your offer but also offer you a lecture on etiquette."
- "And where does he get his straight hair from?"
- Hair is an adoption issue, apparently
- "I might be a bad mom, but I have a sweet, smart, well-mannered child"
- Alicia Keys' Blended Family video redefines the modern family
- "My step daughters will always have a place to call home"
What is the worst thing you've had people say to you or your adopted or stepchild? Would you like to share your story and parenting experiences? Send your readers letters to firstname.lastname@example.org
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