'My rude awakening to the modern dating scene': A divorcee's advice

accreditation
The flings and fun only helped temporarily, but actually left me feeling mentally worse off.
The flings and fun only helped temporarily, but actually left me feeling mentally worse off.

Writing in response to the previously published Dating after a divorce - Do's and Don'ts, one divorcee has written into Parent24 to share what he's learned since getting back on the horse after 34 years of marriage. 

His letter follows: 

"After being married for 34 years, letting go of my wife two months ago was the hardest decision of my life. 

We had drifted apart over the past 3 to 4 years, and she wanted out as the relationship had become toxic.

In part, to fill the void and to reduce the anguish and pain, I realized I needed someone in my life. I needed a loving wife or partner. The flings and fun only helped temporarily, but actually left me feeling mentally worse off.

This was the start of my rude awakening to the modern dating scene.

I quickly discovered that for the majority of women in their 40's and 50's, if they have never been married - they are not looking for a long term relationship as they don't want to alter their lifestyle or independence.

This also applies to a lesser degree to women who have been divorced for the past 10 years plus.

The only category in this age group actively looking for a serious relationship or commitment were those that were recently divorced or widowed.

On the plus side, I have grown as a person by stepping out of my comfort zones, started exercising again and re-evaluated my priorities in life, as well as my treatment and how I interact with women."

- Anonymous  

Also see: Parent24's #dignifieddivorceseries is here to help parents navigate the legal and emotional implications of a divorce.

Chat back:

Share your story with us, and we could publish your mail. Anonymous contributions are welcome.

Sign up for Parent24's newsletters.

Read more:

We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. For 14 free days, you can have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Journalism strengthens democracy. Invest in the future today. Thereafter you will be billed R75 per month. You can cancel anytime and if you cancel within 14 days you won't be billed. 
Subscribe to News24
Voting Booth
Zama zama crackdown: What are your thoughts on West Village residents taking the law into their own hands?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Authorities should bring in the army already
12% - 886 votes
Illegal miners can't be scapegoated for all crime
43% - 3195 votes
What else did we expect without no proper policing
41% - 3059 votes
Vigilante groups are also part of the problem
4% - 296 votes
Vote
Rand - Dollar
16.27
+1.9%
Rand - Pound
19.92
+0.6%
Rand - Euro
16.79
+0.9%
Rand - Aus dollar
11.48
+0.6%
Rand - Yen
0.12
+0.3%
Gold
1,796.51
+0.1%
Silver
20.63
+0.5%
Palladium
2,240.01
+0.8%
Platinum
938.53
+0.1%
Brent Crude
96.31
-0.4%
Top 40
63,304
-0.7%
All Share
69,929
-0.5%
Resource 10
64,632
-0.6%
Industrial 25
84,965
-1.0%
Financial 15
15,742
0.0%
All JSE data delayed by at least 15 minutes Iress logo
Editorial feedback and complaints

Contact the public editor with feedback for our journalists, complaints, queries or suggestions about articles on News24.

LEARN MORE