Your spouse should come before your kids


This article seems to be floating around WhatsApp groups and Facebook. It's been making quite a splash among parents, with a lot of them getting up in arms about it. They feel like it's an outdated way of thinking.

In the article the author, John Rosemond, suggests that parents have to put their marriage first because they are the foundation of the family unit, and "their kids exist because of them and their marriage and thrive because they have created a stable family."

I don't agree with everything Mr Rosemond says in his article, for instance that there aren't benefits to co-sleeping and treating your children with respect instead of as "second-class citizens".

Who's more important?

But it's so easy to get caught up in the mundane day-to-day doldrums of raising children that it's easy to lose your connection with your spouse. You have to make time for each other and yes, at times put your partner before your kids.

It seems that the parents who are getting upset about this feel like if you're putting your husband first, then you are neglecting your children. But by that way of thinking is the reverse then not true? If you're putting your children first are you then not neglecting your spouse?

Yes, your partner is a grown human who can take care of themselves but it's really not about taking care of that person but about cultivating your relationship.

I don't see why it needs to be a hierarchy of who is more important. Everyone in the family is important. Yes, there will be a time when your kids require more attention but you should try to maintain your relationship as well.

Because if you're always putting your children first, one day when they're off raising families of their own, you're not going to recognise the person sitting next to you anymore. And then what?

What are your thoughts? Send them to and we could publish them.

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