How to be a TTC friend

accreditation
Having a friend who is trying to fall pregnant can be a tricky thing. She’s bound to be quite emotional and maybe just a little bit irrational. (Or is that just me?)

Here are some tips to help you steer through this new facet of your friendship.

For the non-pregnant friend

Don’ts:
  • Don’t say: “It will be your turn soon!” because you don’t know that. It tends to be the default response but it’s not as reassuring as it sounds.
  • Also telling her to “relax, it will just happen” is really easier said than done. She already knows this but can’t always put it into practice.
  • It’s hard to understand the headspace of a friend who is trying to have a baby if you’re in a completely different space, e.g. getting married, living a single life, being a soccer mom etc. So if she does not want to talk to you, she may feel you won’t understand. Don’t be offended.
Do:
  • Let her know she has a safe place to talk without judgement or offer of solution. Sometimes she just needs to rant.

  • Distract her. Being TTC is a whiny place and can be emotionally tiring for everyone involved. Sometimes being distracted from the problem is better than talking about it.
For the pregnant friend

Don’ts:
  • Your TTC friend is very happy for you, really she is. But don’t flaunt your pregnancy in her face all the time. Don’t let it be the only topic of conversation. You were friends before you fell pregnant and surely there were other things you spoke about?
  • Don’t keep telling her how everyone is falling pregnant and that it seems to be the year of the babies. All you’re doing is reinforcing her feeling that everyone but her is falling pregnant.
  • When she complains, don’t say, “Try being pregnant and doing that”. She really is trying to be pregnant and reminding her that she isn’t doesn’t help.
Do’s:
  • She is your friend so she will care about you and your pregnancy. Don’t cut her out completely. She will always be there for you and will definitely want to share in your ups and downs.
  • Do give her some practical advice. If you’ve been TTC for a while before you fell pregnant you’ll know how she feels. So be a bit sympathetic when she needs to whine a bit and be that crutch when she needs someone to lean on.
Are you TTC? What advice would you give to your friends?
 
We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. For 14 free days, you can have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Journalism strengthens democracy. Invest in the future today. Thereafter you will be billed R75 per month. You can cancel anytime and if you cancel within 14 days you won't be billed. 
Subscribe to News24
Voting Booth
The ANC's leadership race is heating up. Who do you think will be elected party president at Nasrec in December?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma has got it in the bag
6% - 207 votes
I foresee a second term for Cyril Ramaphosa
81% - 2665 votes
Don’t discount a Zweli Mkhize win
12% - 407 votes
Vote
Rand - Dollar
18.01
-1.0%
Rand - Pound
19.90
-2.4%
Rand - Euro
17.62
-1.4%
Rand - Aus dollar
11.67
-0.3%
Rand - Yen
0.12
-0.7%
Gold
1,660.86
+0.1%
Silver
18.76
-0.7%
Palladium
2,209.33
+2.7%
Platinum
866.50
+0.0%
Brent Crude
89.32
+3.4%
Top 40
56,921
-0.9%
All Share
63,264
-0.9%
Resource 10
59,793
+3.3%
Industrial 25
76,769
-2.2%
Financial 15
13,707
-2.8%
All JSE data delayed by at least 15 minutes Iress logo
Editorial feedback and complaints

Contact the public editor with feedback for our journalists, complaints, queries or suggestions about articles on News24.

LEARN MORE