"From a cup of tea to becoming a family of 3, oh wait, 4"


24 January 2011

My ?cellphone started? playing the famous song ?echoing the words of “?The Climb" by Milley? Cyrus: “I can almost ?see it, that dream I am? dreaming, but there's a ?voice inside my head ?saying: 'You'll never reach it'..." This has become my life motto with everything that has been going on in my life.

Never would I have guessed that when I took the call from my friend that my life was about to change. Her first words weren’t the normal “Hello, how are you?” but "I think I found you your baby". I was so shocked at her words that I thought it couldn’t have been what she said.

Before I could ask her what she was on about she repeated and said that she has someone at the office whose daughter is pregnant and is looking for someone to adopt the little bean.

I started shaking... this couldn’t be... and I was waiting for her to start laughing on the other side and tell me she’s joking. But she didn’t. She asked me if we’d be interested to meet the girl and see if we would want to pursue the opportunity.

The only words I got out, in a whisper, was that I would have to call her back. I had so many emotions going through me: shock, surprise, fear and happiness all at once. I couldn’t move, I stared at my phone in disbelief. Could this be, is this my chance to finally also experience the joy of being a mommy?

I then phoned my husband and informed him about the call from our friend. He, without a beat, told me to phone her back and tell her we were interested to meet the girl. I went into a panic.

Were we allowed to do this? Weren’t we suppose to have a social worker present? What if the girl changed her mind? What if she didn't like us? What if we didn't like her? What was I going to say to a girl whose baby I was going to take away from her and she’d never see again? Was I ready to meet the girl that might change my life for ever?

After speaking to my friend, we arranged a meeting with the biological mother and her mother with our mutual friend present for a cup of tea. We had such an open and free discussion, questions were asked from why she wanted to give the baby up for adoption to what kind of people we were. What her terms were for the “perfect” couple for her baby, and what we'd expect after the adoption had been finalised.

My husband and I left in silence, individually processing everything that was discussed and the possibility of what might lie just around the corner in our future. After a while I broke the silence and asked him what his thoughts were, and he said we could only pray.

That night I didn’t sleep a wink. I prayed and begged and cried to God that if this was His plan that He would make it happen.

The next morning our friend phoned and when I answered, told me that the biological mother had, when we left, said, "That’s the baby’s mother and father."

Again in less than 24 hours, my heart skipped a beat. I contacted our social worker and she shared the joys of the possibility. The biological mother moved into an institution for pregnant girls where she stayed until the birth of our little one. This was a choice made by her mother, herself and her social worker

Proven fact: Never underestimate the power and success of word of mouth. If my friend hadn't known that we were exploring the option to adopt, we would most probably still have been waiting.

27 February 2011

I had to do a pregnancy test as, like every other month, I started to have pregnancy symptoms. I just did the test so I could get my prescription from the doctor the next day for my meds to sooth “the problem” until next time. I even knew before I did the test that it was negative.

Surprise, surprise... it immediately started to show two lines! This wasn’t possible, and I phoned my fertility specialist at 6:30am on the Sunday morning. He told me? to go do the bloods and tell? them to mark it as urgent for? his attention. Less than 2 hours later he phoned ?to confirm the pregnancy.? My husband and I couldn’t? believe that we would be going from 2 to 4 in less than a year – after a 5-year wait.

The following morning I phoned our biological mother’s social worker to inform her of our news, and she dreadfully told me that we wouldn’t be able to proceed with the adoption. I was in shock and cried and couldn't understand why this was happening. Our first-born was due any week and now the little bean growing in me might not have a big sister to play with.

I went into survival mode as I normally do and when I couldn’t reach our social worker, I started to phone around trying to figure out what to do. I contacted Sharon, a friend that had also gone the adoption route, and she told me to phone her social worker. They advised me that it wasn't up to the social worker to decide, but the biological mother.

absolutely thrilled to hear that her baby, our baby, wouldn’t grow up alone.

15 March 2011

Our baby girl was born, and 6 hours later we laid her down in her crib at home staring into the little innocent face, thanking God for the most precious gift he could ever have given us.

Our second miracle arrived on 11 October 2011. I can gladly report that even though the 2 girls are still so young and small, they are absolutely inseparable and love each other so much, we call them our "almost twins".

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