Same mom, different dads

There are women out there who have more than one child from different fathers. This is something that is frowned upon in some communities.

This scenario is caused by different factors like the relationship from whom you have a child not working out as planned or hoped for. A woman may get divorced while young and move on to marry someone else and has more children.

Women with kids from different fathers tend to be judged at times as if they are lacking in morals. A friend once missed out on marriage because the future mom-in-law felt that his son was making a big mistake by taking a woman with two kids from different men.

Mama-in-law said if it was only one child it could have been better but two was unacceptable in her household. Unfortunately they had to part ways.

There are even names given to children from different fathers. They are called “choice assorted”. It’s one box with different biscuit flavours inside. It is as if the woman is promiscuous but I am sure it is not the case with most women.

I doubt if one wakes up and plans to have children from different men. If the one relationship does not work and you happen to meet someone else and you feel it’s time to have another baby what can one really do?

Back to dad no 1?

If I were to have a second child it’s definitely not going to be the father of my first child. I have no choice then in that case. Either I stay with one child or have a second one from a different dad – can you really judge me?

Some women go back to the father of the first child to have a second baby so as to avoid having children from  different fathers. I wonder how much of that is based on fearing being judged by family or the community?

There are women who go as far as having 5 children with different men - and again even in that situation who are we to judge?

I am in no way promoting promiscuity especially now that we are battling sexually transmitted diseases but women should be allowed to make their choices.

As a woman you know what works best for you. I think as society we should also accept that not each and every woman is going to get married.

The moral issue will be raised but do you think all the single mothers are single by choice? And does that mean they can’t ever add another child to their families?

Read more by Masanda Peter

What do you think when women have a child by more than one man?

Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.
We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. For only R75 per month, you have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Journalism strengthens democracy. Invest in the future today.
Subscribe to News24