Kids say hilarious things. They also say some seriously inappropriate things, but even so, they still warrant a good, hearty laugh.
Teaching our kids to think before they speak is one of the important jobs we have as parents, and often it is challenging to keep a straight face when delivering this important lesson.
Sometimes, we can't keep it to ourselves. We have to spread the word and connect with other parents - whether friends or complete strangers - about our kids and the amazing things their little minds conjure up.
When they catch you off-guard:
4-year-old: I want to stay home all the time.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) September 13, 2016
Me: Everyone has to leave their house sometimes.
4: Turtles don't.
My 5yo: "So Dad what was the best day of your life ever?"— Tim Kelly (@TimKofCanberra) September 20, 2016
"When I got married to mummy"
"So not when you had your children?"#UhOh
Me: Why do you always watch “Frozen?” Elsa always wins.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) September 18, 2016
6-year-old: You watch football. Your team always loses.
When they have random epiphanies:
7yo: You know I like old school music, Mom. Jazz, Dubstep, Snoop Dogg, that kinda stuff— C. B. Catalano (@C_B_Catalano) September 19, 2016
Me out loud: Go on, my son!
Me inside: I'm... old :(
When my 7yo cousin died, her 5yo sister told me she was excited to get her toys. Kids go into survival mode. They fill in mental blanks.— Amber Hunt (@ReporterAmber) September 20, 2016
When they share their great wisdom:
my 7yo niece showed her 5yo brother her math book and said "this is math. when you're my age, you'll hate it too"— Mickey (@mickey_manic) September 20, 2016
5yo: What keeps the world up?— Carrie Gour (@carrie_gour) September 19, 2016
5yo: How come the earth and all the other planets don't fall out of the sky? That's CRAZY!#itsmagic
When they're smart-mouthed:
dad: "come on, you guys are LATE!!!!"— dadmissions (@Dadmissions) June 30, 2016
11yo: "you should have started YELLING at us earlier!"
Me: "Hi friend, can I sit by you?"— Mariah Otto (@ri_otto1122) September 19, 2016
5yo boy: *looks me up & down* "No."
Me: Why is there water on my floor?— Erica BeHa (@MommaBHaq) September 19, 2016
5yo: -in tub- Mommy, I had to make a current, to be pushed by the waves.
5yo: Then I farted.
When they verbalise what every woman feels:
7yr old "Do women get their periods on weekends too?"— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) November 20, 2015
7yr old mutters to herself "Jesus Christ"
When they push your buttons:
my 5yo brother: yuck! weddings!!! weddings are for girls!— leah (@KUMlREI) September 19, 2016
When they show their naïvety:
7yo just asked me what a fax is— Emma Hughes (@emmahughes6) September 20, 2016
13: "When I'm bad, I always get caught!"— Tara Chaput (@FoodieAndFamily) September 14, 2016
15: "So be sneakier about it!" #S**tMyKidsSay
When you want the earth to swallow you:
And of course, when they know just what to say:
My sweet 5yo daughter: Daddy, even when I'm old I'll still be your little girl! #blessed— Ashley La Mar (@AshleyLaMar73) September 19, 2016
My 5yo: Mommy 1 of my classmate said to me "can u be my girlfriend?"— Jhe Campbell (@thisisjhe) September 20, 2016
Me: what did u say?
5yr old: I'm not really in the mood for that
4-year-old: How many Saturdays are there this week?— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) September 14, 2016
Me: Just one.
4: That's not enough.
Honestly, the sweetest thing my 3yo has ever said to me is "mama, let's go take a nap" ????— Shelbi Vallery (@Shelban) September 20, 2016