Arguing can be constructive

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You would think that the main reason your teen would lie to you would be to stay out of trouble.  However, the most common reason for deception is the child wanting to protect his/her relationship with you.  They don't want you to be disappointed in them. They do, however, actually want to be honest.  

The families with the lowest rate of teen deception also have a much higher rate of arguments or complaining. Children who feel free to state their point of view and be honest will naturally clash with their parents.  However, in the teenager's mind, this type of banter is really good. They enjoy bargaining over the rules, however, they are NOT arguing your authority as a parent to set these rules in the first place.  

If your child knows you will do your best to understand where they are coming from, they are more likely to be honest with you and also to stick to the rules you set together.  Fighting over the details of some rules is a sign of respect, not disrespect.  

However, there is also a point where you need to draw the final line. Too much arguing is never a good thing. You don't want a whining, begging teenager on your hands who gets everything they want. Remember, you don't give in to shut them up or stop them crying.  

Don't concede to avoid being the bad guy. Your job is to make your child feel like they have a say and their opinion counts. For example, you can keep the curfew at 11pm, but if your child explains that there is a really special dance on at school, you can make a concession on this one occasion to 1am instead. Parents who negotiate and have conversations are more informed about what their children want and need.

6 reasons to argue with your teen
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