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78% of parents believe their adolescent children will be able to talk to them about anything. Teens disagree. Asking for help is just like admitting they aren't mature enough to deal with it on their own. They desperately crave this independence - which is most powerful at age 18.
However, if you have been having ongoing discussions and negotiations with your child, then opening up to you will be that much easier. Also, constructive arguing (or debating), is not as stressful on your child as it is on you. Parents are far more bothered about the arguments than teens are. 46% of mothers believe that arguing is destructive to their relationship - they feel stressed out and disrespected. However, the daughters in these same relationships feel differently - 77% believe that the fighting strengthens their relationship.
They want to know your point of view. They want to know why you feel the way you do. And they want you to hear their side too and try to understand their reasons.
The key point here is how the arguments are resolved. This is what is important to your child: They need to feel heard and that, if reasonable, you may budge a bit in their direction. They need to win a few arguments, or at least get some concessions as a result of trying.
Arguments that are stonewalled by the parents ("Don't argue with me! Just do it because I said so!") are the destructive types. You don't have to agree that your daughter gets a tattoo, but you can give in to the blonde streak she wants in her hair over the holidays, for example.
Bend just a little. It will make the world of difference to your teen.
6 reasons to argue with your teen
However, if you have been having ongoing discussions and negotiations with your child, then opening up to you will be that much easier. Also, constructive arguing (or debating), is not as stressful on your child as it is on you. Parents are far more bothered about the arguments than teens are. 46% of mothers believe that arguing is destructive to their relationship - they feel stressed out and disrespected. However, the daughters in these same relationships feel differently - 77% believe that the fighting strengthens their relationship.
They want to know your point of view. They want to know why you feel the way you do. And they want you to hear their side too and try to understand their reasons.
The key point here is how the arguments are resolved. This is what is important to your child: They need to feel heard and that, if reasonable, you may budge a bit in their direction. They need to win a few arguments, or at least get some concessions as a result of trying.
Arguments that are stonewalled by the parents ("Don't argue with me! Just do it because I said so!") are the destructive types. You don't have to agree that your daughter gets a tattoo, but you can give in to the blonde streak she wants in her hair over the holidays, for example.
Bend just a little. It will make the world of difference to your teen.
6 reasons to argue with your teen
