5 relationship tips that might save you heartache

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Radio producer, author and our resident columnist

  1. If you’ve just met someone, then it’s way too soon to be introducing him to your friends. I once did that mistake of taking her to a braai with friends and this guy was chatting to her and I wished my ears were lying to me, but I most certainly overheard her tell this guy, ‘No, Msizi and I aren’t dating’. She could have added ‘yet’ at the end but she didn’t. That was our last date.You don’t want your new guy who you’re not officially an item with wishing he’d met your friend first. Unfortunately this happens a lot. You think it’s insecurity? I think it’s insanity to be secure yet when you just met five minutes ago.

  1. I have a great business idea, I will hold ‘weekly Football for Beginners’ classes for blessees, wives, girlfriends, etc. Ladies generally hate sports because it takes their men away from them. Isn’t it time maybe you learnt to understand your man’s passion? I’ve had so much fun on weekends with the few women I’ve dated who loved football. It’s a completely different experience to me watching a football match on TV whilst she’s in the bedroom reading TRUE LOVE.

  1. Almost every ex of yours cheated on you and you now have a problem trusting; it’s understandable to be insecure. But when you become an ‘FBI agent’ who waits for her partner to fall asleep then go through his phone, hack his Facebook profile, create fake Facebook profile to stalk or set a trap for him, use his picture as profile picture on WhatsApp to communicate with women you suspect could be secretly dating your men. When you pull all these stunts and more, you are expediting the end of your relationship whether your guy is innocent or guilty.
  2. When you marry someone, you marry everything about them, especially their family. Yes, his entire family including dogs, the domestic helper, his neighbours, his friends, his colleagues and former teachers can love you and want you to end up with him. But if he’s not there, all those other ‘votes’ don’t count. In spite of that sobering fact, you still have to try and get along with his family because they are your potential future family, warts and all.

  1. The list with requirements you demand from your future-husband should be realistic. ‘He must be wealthy, tall, well-built body with a six-pack, no child from previous relationship, he must be drop-dead gorgeous, educated, loyal, he must love my daughter like he were her dad, he must be romantic, he must love animals, he must always be my hero like JB in Rockville, he must call me and tell me when women smile at him…’ Wouldn’t it be nice? Unrealistic expectations are big relationship killers. Even Beyoncé compromised (as far as looks are concerned), you too will have to compromise, sweetcakes, more so since you are not a perfect package yourself.
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