Staying in a relationship out of guilt is not a great idea. Eventually, it’s going to end, so don’t delay the inevitable. You’re being selfish Though delaying a breakup out of guilt comes from a good place, it’s still a very selfish thing to do. You are only thinking about your feelings that you’ll feel bad by dumping your partner. There’s no escaping those feelings. Breakups are hard. You’ll go through the guilt and he’ll go through the heartache, but both of you will come out better on the other side. Wouldn’t you want to know? There’s not a person in this world that would want to be in a relationship with anyone who wasn’t as invested in it. Imagine if your partner did the same to you – secretly wishing the relationship was over, but couldn’t man up and say it. The whole situation would be unfair and probably hurt more than if you knew. You are wasting both of your time Eventually you’re going to leave him, so stop wasting time and tell him, already. It’s unfair to the both of you to invest anymore time into something that you know for sure is not going anywhere. You may break his heart, but delaying the break up is not going to make his heart hurt any less. You’ll become resentful It’s tiring trying to hide your feelings and even if you did, they’ll seep out in one way or another. You’ll be resentful and start ill-treating the other person without even knowing it. How is that saving him from heartache? You’re also being unfair to yourself by staying in a relationship that does not fulfill you just because you feel guilty. You’re denying both of you a chance to meet someone new Clearly, you’re not meant for each other… and you now know that for sure. You’ve explored all avenues and learnt that there’s really nothing you, or he can do to save the relationship. The sooner you end it, you open yourself up to opportunities to be happy and probably meet someone new. You are postponing the inevitable Sometimes, it’s just fear to leave a relationship, especially if it’s abusive or puts your life at risk. You have to seek the help. Get yourself emotionally and physically ready before making any attempts to leave, and ensure that you have the right kind of support. Visit www.powa.co.za for more info on how to get help.
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