We are told that honesty is needed to make a relationship work, but does this apply to everything? Psychotherapist Dr Robi Ludwig says being honest how many sex partners you’ve had can do more harm than good. Here’s why.
Double standardsExperts say there are still double standards to this issue. Men might have it easy whilst women get judged for it. It also depends on the kind of relationship you have. If you know your partner isn’t the judgemental type then by all means go ahead.
ExperienceThere’s this misconception that the more sex you have the better you are at it. Disclosing will help the both of you measure how much ‘experience’ you have. When disclosing it’s best that you let him know that you’re open to learning and exploring other things with him.
SafetyYour body count could add up to 10 but if you’ve been playing it safe throughout we see no problem in this. Make this clear to him just to keep his worries at bay.
LiesHonesty for women isn’t as difficult as it is for men. Careful not to be trapped as men tend to lie about this issue. If he asks you first, chances are he wants to hear what you have say in order to adjust his answer. It’s either he will exaggerate or tone down his number to ‘match’ yours.
JealousyPeople do get worked up over such things. The idea that you had sex with other people before him might make him uneasy. If he’s the jealous type steer away from this conversation because even if it’s just one person he will still have mixed feeling about this.
What are you thoughts – would you be honest about your body count?