. In an ideal world, every little girl would be raised by a father who’s the epitome of love and an example of the kind of man she wants to marry one day. But not all fathers are same. Dr Elmari Mulder Craig, a marriage and relationship expert, gives us the low-down: DADDY’S GIRL When looking for a partner, you may lose out on a great guy by comparing him to your dad. Usually, your expectations become too high. A hidden part of your brain analyses a person’s traits and compares them to your rich bank of information that you have acquired from your past. A romantic relationship cannot exactly be compared to a father- daughter relationship, and women need to establish the difference. MISS INDEPENDENT It’s easy to gravitate towards a ‘Miss independent’ type of attitude if you grew up without a dad. Being self-reliant is great, but denying yourself the love and support you can get from a healthy relationship is being too hard on yourself. Your issues of abandonment may manifest as fear of commitment because you’re subconsciously afraid that your partner will leave you. THE ATTENTION SEEKER In the past, emotionally absent fathers were common because men were the main or sole providers. Because of this, many young women grew up feeling like they were of no interest to their fathers, and sought validation from other men. CONTROL FREAK Having an abusive father has long-term emotional and physical ramifications. Emotionally, a woman may develop many issues with self-confidence, and self-worthiness. None of these should be brought into a relationship. Dr Elmari Mulder Craig advises that you seek help to break the cycle to ensure the longevity of your relationship.
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