Accepting the idea that your man isn’t yours anymore can be hard but it has to be done. Be careful not to use closure as the reason to keep going back to someone who clearly doesn’t want you.
Author of The rush to end grief and what it costs us, Nancy Berns, says closure is just a word people have made up to talk about loss. Sadly, this illusive search for closure often does more harm than good.
‘I need to know’
This phrase is common for breaking a lot of women’s hearts. Better be ready for the brutal truth if you go back there to ask why he cheated. This can bruise you for a very long time, future relationships included.
‘He gets me’
More often than not you will end in his bed because you’re convinced that he’s the only man who’s able to satisfy all your sexual needs.
‘He didn’t say we’re over’
Yes, he might not have uttered the words directly but actions do speak louder than words. Stalking his every move will not make him want you any more. Get the picture and move on.
‘Maybe we can still be friends’
This depends on how the break up went, if it was a messy one then there’s no chance that the two of you will survive the “friendship”.
‘I’m to blame’
Author of Transitions: How women embrace change Dr Abigail Brenner says people often use this excuse to keep holding on to something that is no more. You feel as though if the blame is shifted towards you then it will hurt less.