Communication is down
Clear and open communication is the bedrock of a successful relationship. When something happens that makes you feel uncomfortable, you should talk about it and resolve it immediately, so it doesn’t happen again. If you keep things to yourself, you’ll explode. The more open you are with your partner, the more they have the space to be open with you.
You’re no longer intimate
Sex is not everything, but there’s no denying that it’s key in a relationship.
Counsellor Suzanne Degges-White points out that although sexual ups and downs are normal in a relationship, as well as fantasising about other people, when the idea of having sex with your partner makes you cringe, you should be worried.
"While sex is never the glue that keeps a relationship a long-term success, if you can no longer take any pleasure in even a memory of sexual satisfaction with your partner or feel a hint of desire to be with your partner in an intimate manner, something is definitely amiss," she told Insider.
READ MORE: When you want IT more
Pet peeves are ramping up
No one is perfect. Both you and your partner have habits and behaviours that the other may not like. But, the minute those habits become excruciatingly annoying, so much that you start losing patience and start fighting over them, you should ask yourself what the real problem is.
An increased sensitivity to trivial stuff is and losing patience easily with each other could be an indicator that one of you does not want to be in the relationship anymore.
The relationship is one-sided
Relationships are a two-way street – no one partner should feel like they’re doing all the work while the other doesn’t pull their weight.
In an article in Essence, Sonya Frazier, a licensed mental health counsellor, says: “Ask yourself where the value added is coming from in this relationship. The definition of the word relationship indicates that more than one person is needed to participate,” she says. “If your relationship is constantly one-sided then it’s not a relationship, so this is a sign to let it go,” she adds.
READ MORE: Four signs you’re dating the wrong guy
You’re being emotionally or physically abused
Abuse, whether emotional or physical, will never be okay. Psychologist Kathleen Isaac told Essence that once your partner abuses you, there’s a big chance he’ll do it again and again. “No one should stay in a relationship in which he or she is being abused verbally, emotionally, financially or physically,” says Isaac.
Frazier adds: “Love does not hurt, nor is it controlling. Exit this [abusive] relationship safely and seek the support of other survivors, family, trusted friends and even a therapist.”