“Give him what the streets can’t – positivity and a peace of mind”


Radio producer and author Msizi E Nkosi gives us his point of view on why some relationships fail. Screen Shot 2016-08-31 at 11.57.55 AM “Give him what the streets can’t – positivity and a peace of mind,” I’m not sure which genius authored these words but clearly he knew a lover can also give you the same bullcrap the streets are giving you. You might not be crazy about someone, but if they give you positivity and a peace of mind – you want to try and make it work. I have a demanding job. I’m running a business on the side. I’m also writing a book. I’m trying to stay sober. What in the name of love makes you think I need further headache from someone I call ‘Home’? Men are already under heavy societal pressure not only to provide but to spoil their women with all sorts of material desires. He gets home exhausted from work and sits in front of his computer to continue working, to continue making extra cash so he can build you the house you desire. How are you helping by adding more noise to his already stressful life? I’m not by any means suggesting you should never question stuff and ask uncomfortable questions. But can it not be every hour? Can you calling my name not automatically mean yet another fight or argument? What happened to women who are cheerleaders for their men? Surely you can’t be making me feel small at home and yet expect me to shine outside? We all have a responsibility to support our partner’s dreams. I should never pursue any dream without my partner’s support, and if you won’t support my dream, it’s okay but do not diss it. If I support your dreams, shouldn't you try and do the same for me? You have no clue of the fight your man is fighting. He’s fighting monstrous dragons just to keep his job. Every time he comes from work he’s utterly exhausted, just today alone he was told indirectly he has to fire a guy who’s very good in his job but has ‘wrong’ political persuasions. Today alone he had to deal with a baby mama with impossible demands. Today he’s exhausted, he just wants to relax but you won’t let him do that. After a hard day a work, you also could use some quiet time to relax and have a good conversation with your partner. So, why bring up silly arguments about little things? The most painful part about this is that you actually love him and he loves you too. But he’s had enough. He prefers peace and positivity in his life. Stuff you won’t bring him. Stuff you’ve failed to bring him. In relationships there are fights and bitter disagreements, but can we fight for something that’s really worth fighting for? Can we please not fight over stupid stuff like why this particular woman is always commenting on my status updates? One day you will tell people someone jinxed your lovelife, but you’ll neglect to tell them that YOU are the main reason why your relationships never work.

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