It’s quite a scary conversation to start, but it’s one that can turn up the heat in your sex life. And you’ll be surprised at how much fun it can be once you’ve started talking. It’s great if you’ve had the sex talk before, but some couples will go their entire married lives without ever talking about sex. Here are a few tips to help you: Talk satisfaction Sex may be good, but if your feel it could be better, this is the question to ask - 'are you still happy?'. It’s open-ended and may end up answering many other questions you may have in your mind. Choose the right time, when you and your partner are relaxed. Follow with a gentle approach, along these lines… ‘Hey, hun. We’ve been together a while and have never really bothered to talk about sex. I love our sex life, but I’m just wondering if you’re happy with the way things are? Is there anything you’d like to try and explore?’ Make sure your tone is playful without any negativity. What you'd like in bed Sometimes couples can go for life not having the kind of sex that they want because all they want is to please their partner. But, have you ever thought of this way? Maybe your partner is doing the things he’s doing because he is trying to please you too! But because you’re both unaware of the kind of sex each one likes, you’re just doing all the wrong things. So, think about the time you had the best sex ever and what made it that special. Was it the way he touched you, spoke to you during sex or the intensity of foreplay? Was it the romantic scene or maybe the spontaneity that made it so great. It can be the tiniest detail that made all the difference. Also, get to know your body and the things you love before having a conversation about what you'd like in bed. Talk fantasies We all have fantasies, whether you already have amazing sex or not. Communicating these to your partner may be difficult because it requires a lot of vulnerability. Don’t judge yourselves and don’t judge each other. So no matter how silly or dodge or dirty your sex fantasies are, it’ll be easier to voice them out once you know you’re not going to be judged. And just because your talking about these doesn’t mean that you now both have to play them out. You can further discuss what would you be willing to do or not do.
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