How to ask for what you want in bed

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We’ve all heard that stating your wants is crucial for sexual communication. It’s up to you to take responsibility for your own pleasure and fill your partner in on what you want in bed.

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‘Reverse psychology’

Try to use the indirect way to ask for what you want in bed by making it about him because sometimes being too specific can frustrate him. Ask him what he would like in bed, and what you can do for himto make the experience better. Chances are your partner will get the hint without even realizing it and then ask you the same questions in return.  Then that would be your chance to state everything you want from him.

Watch your tone

Remember that your partner is human too so make your requests kindly and respectfully. If he messes up, gently redirect him without insulting him. If you find yourself repeatedly having to ask for the same thing, talk to him about it when you’re both calm and fully clothed.

Give feedback

Feedback simply means focus on what you're enjoying in the moment. Be sure to praise him once he’s hit the spot to assure him you enjoying so that next time he will know where to focus to get your toes curling again.  Even simple statements like, "that feels good" or "that feels even better" will help you both relax and enjoy the ride.

Give directions

But this doesn’t mean you need to hand a guy a list of explicit directions for how to make you orgasm. If words are not enough, try using your hands. If you want him to touch you somewhere, or caress you differently, try placing your hand on top of him and very slowly guiding him to the right place.

Pick the right time

Obviously, you should pick a time and place where the two of you can be alone and free from distractions. If you're just interested in increasing the frequency of sex, you might consider setting the mood before sitting him down and asking for sex. For instance, you could light a few candles, play sexy music, and then start kissing him to get intimate. In that way you will definitely get what you want.

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