Allowing third parties to make decisions in your marriage There is so much truth to the saying that ‘three is a crowd.’ You need to always keep in mind that you’re in a relationship with your partner, and the two of you are the only ones that can make decisions about the kind of life you want to lead. In-laws, friends and family are never shy to medle in your business. Though it’s okay to give them a bit of attention every now and then, be careful not to allow them to rule your reationship. It can completely destroy the trust. Instead of listening to other people’s opinion, it’s better to just discuss things with your partner. Make decisions together, and let people know that you operate as one unit. Avoiding intimacy Usually in a good relationship, intimacy is not a problem. But, lack of intimacy can be a sign that something is not right in the relationship. Loving partners would want to share a special connection and physical closeness. If this is not happening, you need to look at the reasons why. It may be that you’re both too busy running a household and holding down careers. But the more you drift apart, the harder it’ll be to get close again, so pencil in a date night and stay connected as a couple. Not learning about each other No matter how long you’ve been together as the years go by, people’s values adapt and change according to their needs and environment. If you only knew your partner as a single, unmarried man who always had time to go out, you may have to learn about the now married man who has to take care of his family. He may have been silly and immature back then, but you have to acknowledge the changes he has made to ensure that you have a good, healthy family. Be open to learning about the person you’re with, no matter where you are in your relationship. Open the lines of communication, so that you both feel comfortable to share your expectations. And discussing your expectations can help you understand each other better. Losing yourself Remember that you’re a human being with many passions. Just because you’re now in a commited relationship does not mean you should let go of the things that fulfil your spirit as an individual. Although you need to compromise in a marriage, you’re still entitled to your own beliefs and values. Allow yourself and your partner to enjoy a bit of ‘me’ time with your friends, or some time spent doing something you love. Bottling things up It may be the littlest of things that get to you, but you should be comfortable enough in your relationship to voice it out. Don’t hold your tongue if something is bothering you – speak up. Arguments are okay, if done in a healthy way. Keeping things in and secretly hating your partner for them can fester into even bigger problems.
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