Loneliness in relationships: how to change it


It’s possible to feel lonely despite being in a relationship. The main cause here is lack of communication. Here’s what you can do if you find yourself yearning for attention.

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Start the conversation

You didn’t get to that “not talking” stage overnight so allow as much time to recover from this. He probaly also feels the disconnection, so initiate this conversation. Dr Winch, a psychologists, suggests that you start by asking him questions that don’t require deep thinking just to see if he’s listening. Once you’ve grabbed his attention then talk about how you feel and how you would like the communication to be like from there on.

Don’t isolate yourself

If you’re now at a point where each of you watches TV in different rooms then show interest by joining him. Give comments on what you thought at the end. Chances are next time he’ll join in on your favourite show and before you know it you’re back to watching TV together. Appreciate the change you see regardless of how small it is. Eventually you get to where you want to be.

Be easy on yourself

Making a relationship succesful takes work and the two of you need to be willing to put in the effort. No pointing fingers or blaming each other. Offer words of encouragement and tell yourself that it’s okay, every relationship goes through rough patches.

Have double dates

Having couple friends comes in handy when you need to rekindle your social life. Go out for dinner with another couple and take notice of the affection and attention they give each other. This can motivate you to also start doing the same.

Get your identity back

Relationships have a tendency of taking up most of our time, especially new love. We no longer hang out with friends like we used to, don’t visit often and miss many events. Get back to doing what used to make you happy before the relationship. Your loneliness could be because you’re always in each others faces. Having separate lives helps as you can ask each other about how your days went and even gossip a bit.

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