Moving on after a break-up

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Your long-term relationship has come to an end and you shared so much together. Now it’s time to pick yourself up and move on.

The pain of a break-up may feel like it will last forever, but eventually you will move on. Here are some tips to help you get there quicker. Focus on moving on You’ve tried to make it work, and you’ve been through the pain of making up and breaking up. So don’t focus on trying to get back with your ex. The sooner you come to this realisation, the easier it becomes to move on. In fact, stop looking at your ex as someone you shared memories with; rather focus on who they really are and keep the reasons why you are no longer together top of mind. One of the ways to readjust your thought processes is to understand the fact that you may have loved the person more than they loved you. Get over your anger Whether you blame your ex for the demise of the relationship, you need to deal with your anger and let go of it. If you’re still thinking of how you can get back at him, or are doing anything you can to paint him as a bad person to friends, you may still be harbouring anger. The one way to deal with your anger is to first acknowledge it. Don’t try to suppress it, let out and find healing. Surround yourself with fun people who are willing to listen to you vent and make light of it. Start new activities that will make you feel good about yourself. Claim your life back Breaking up with a long-term partner can be difficult that even the littlest things such as seeing a TV programme you both loved without him, or making breakfast together can be a reminder. But, it’s important to claim your life back. Now is the time to try all the things you’ve always wanted to do. Enjoy the fact you don’t have to compromise – you have the remote to yourself, and can go wherever you want without having to worry about someone else. Find yourself According to Teboho Monyamane, a clinical psychologist, you need to think of your identity in practical terms. “Part of letting go of the relationship involves acknowledging all aspects of the relationship – the positives, the negatives, the relationship dynamics and what you have learnt from the relationship.”? While this is an important part of the process, it is also important to start living your life as an individual. She adds: “Living your life practically means just that: engaging in life again as an individual, being with friends and family, learning to enjoy the time you have by yourself to do the things you like to do; in other words, learning to be with yourself.”
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