Parents teach us how to love and value ourselves, hence what you seek from a man is influenced by the relationship you had with your parents. Here’s why:
You might seek similar physical traits
Author of Attachment styles among young adults Kim Bartholome conducted research and it shows that early relationships between parent and child influences how you’re able to connect to other adults.
She adds, your dad might have been a handsome man who exuded style and great taste, when looking for a partner you might lean more towards men with similar attributes.
You might seek similar personality traits
Sense of homour, acts of kindness and expressing unconditional love are some of things many women look for in a man and studies show that this is a result of what you witnessed from your parents’ relationship.
You unconsciously fall for someone who replicates your relationship with your parents
There’s some deeper patterns that emerge from your upbringing to romantic relationships. Psychologists claim that if you had a parent that was on the run during your upbringing, many of your romantic relationships might bring you more harm than good.
You seek the love or pain you received as a child
Author of Perceived and actual characteristics of parents and partners Glenn Geher claims having grown up in a home where you were constantly judged or rejected can make you believe that getting negative treatment is acceptable because that’s all you know from a young age.
You fall into a habit
What you know is always better and much comfortable, even if it brings you misery, and this unfortunately happens unconsciously.
What to do
Before you can change your love life pattern, you first need to acknowledge that there’s a pattern. Therapy can also help as it allows you to see yourself and love in a much positive way.