Ever wondered how soon is too soon to have sex with a new man? Radio producer and author Msizi E Nkosi gives his perspective from a man’s point.
Women often get it wrong by giving too much too soon. You get happily married couples that had sex the first night they met. But those are exceptions – in many situations, giving it up too soon works against you, dear sister.
I think Steve Harvey was talking absolute bullocks with his 90-day waiting-period before giving it up to a new man, but he had a point about making him work before he gets some. Remember, guys are very judgemental; in as much he wanted sex when he met you last night but in the morning he’s mentally put you in a box – you are one of the easy ones. That drops the level of respect he has for you by over 50%.
Your coochie is your best card, making it extremely risky to play it right at the beginning of the game.
Granted, a guy will chase you for two years. You finally give it to him and he runs away after hitting it. It happens. Guys are vindictive in this game; sometimes he’s long lost genuine interest, but he’s still pursuing you because his focus has turned specifically to that what’s between your legs. It has become an ego game, he will eventually hit and run. He has the last laugh, or so he thinks. But remember, him chasing you for two years doesn’t even begin to suggest he’s waiting for you. As a matter of fact, he may be so busy he’s multitasking several women.
If you see someone once every two weeks, you can’t really say three months is a long time. But if you see each other daily, three months may feel long. So being pedantic about time is not gonna help.
The question we should ask is, what is he willing to do to get close to you, to get to know you better? Chris Brown is in town and you hint to him you are a fan, but he doesn’t see that as an opportunity to impress you? Maybe he thinks R800 is a bit too much to spend on YOU, he reckons he can get you without working that hard. Perhaps he looked at you and thought his bedroom is as far as he could ever take you.
Let the guy work a bit – let him take you out without expecting to get ‘some’. Let him impress you, let him spend time with you, and let him know who you are. Let the guy have a fight and see how he manages that little conflict.
Unless, of course, all you ever wanted was a shag.