‘Saying all #menaretrash is problematic’

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Currently, not a week goes by that we don’t read the hashtag #menaretrash on Twitter and Facebook. Isn’t it time we inspired men to be better, asks Author and TV producer Msizi E Nkosi. Screen Shot 2017-02-20 at 3.37.25 PM I’ve watched in awe at the massive popularity of the “Ask A Man” feature on Metro FM’s Front Row. It’s arguable the most popular feature at the station. People call in with a relationship problem, and Bonang’s producers try and help her with their manly insight. The few times I’ve listened, it’s heart-wrenching stories that makes you ashamed to be a man – a guy who infects his girlfriend with HIV, leave her pregnant and runs away with her close friend; stories like those and more. Stories like these make women hate men and the next thing, you see #MenAreTrash trending every week on Twitter. South Africa is one of the world’s rape capital because South African men rape a lot. I’ve heard countless stories of women who went for job interviews or pitch a concept, but the gatekeeper who was a guy solicited sex to make things happen. The examples are many, but is that a majority of SA men? If you’ve watched Utatakho, you’d know how promiscuity is not a new thing, but I can’t call women trash. If you’ve been following the alleged fake-kidnapping of Baby Siwaphiwe, would you say women are trash? Men are horny, a lot of men at that – from parliamentarians (those are the horniest, I think) to your church leaders, and (please forgive me for stating this truth) your dad too. Men are just too horny. That makes them trashy because whilst in the grip of hormonal overload, they break hearts. Are women not horny, too? I have married guy friends who are loyal to their wives; they too need attention, good attention so they can inspire the trashy-type. Are we praising a bird for flying? Well if many birds are struggling to fly, then perhaps it’s time we praised a bird for flying. In these times of trending ratchet-TV, we’ve never needed inspiration more than we do today. We need a book on ‘Great SA Men’, ‘Great SA Women.’ We need stories of hope. We need our broken hearts to love again, in spite of their brokenness. We need to get the land back, and it’s going to be eternity before we get it if we keep telling each other how trashy we are. But guy nani stop being trashy tu! The nerve to be horny when we still don’t have our land back!

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