Survival tips for celibacy when in a relationship

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Going celibate can be due to spiritual, physical or emotional reasons.

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Be committed

There should be a reason why you started, so keep reminding yourself of this and stick to it. Firstly your partner should be aware of this and be willing to stick through it. The strength of your relationship will be tested throughout this time and if your it’s strong he both of you will survive.

Acknowledge the sexual energy

Being celibate doesn’t mean that your sexual feelings will immediately die down. Acknowledge them when they come and disuss it with your man. New York-based yoga teacher Aaron Star says that there’s a connection between yoga and celibacy because it helps you discover breathing techniques that will help you relax and take control when sexual desires hit you.

Outside dates

For you to stay commited to your goal you need to eliminate all possible things that can influence you to engage in sex. Try doing a lot of outdoor activities like picnics, hiking, or rafting depending on what you both like. This will alllow you to have very limited time “alone” together and your mind will be focused on each other, learning new things about one another without engaging in sex.

Create boundaries

You need to know what triggers your sexual feelings. If French kissing gets you started then agree that you’re going to tone it down a notch. Also be open to your partner, agree whether you’re both in this together or if he’s allowed to pleausure himself using other methods. This will prevent many fights.

Share tips with other celibate couples

It’s helpful to have like minded people in your corner to see you through this journey. These can be mutual friends who are couples and also celibate, or joining a group of celibate couples. Sharing will allow you to understand your challenges because you realise that the same things you face are the same as the next couple.

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