Who run the world? Girls, do! Yes women are now higher up on the corporate ladder, and many own their companies. But, powerful women are always accused of being bossy even at home. Well, to be successful in your relationship – don’t run it like your company. Here’s how to treat your man like a man. Clinical psychologist, Nan Sauer shares 8 tips on how to achieve this:
It takes more than money to build a successful relationship. As much as women want to be shown that they are admired by and are special to their men, men also have the need to be acknowledged. Expert advice: Men need to hear that they are doing things right in the relationship. Always tell him that you appreciate his contribution to the relationship, especially when he takes care of you, financially and emotionally,” Sauer states.
- Appreciate him
Women often have to be more assertive to gain respect at work. At times, this may be perceived as bossy and controlling. You cannot treat a relationship like a company, as this behaviour emasculates your man, which can ruin your relationship. Expert advice: Dorcas Modiba, a relationship coach from Pretoria, explains that “Men were raised to be in control and when they feel that you are denying them that control, they will start to withdraw. When you disagree with him, bring the issue up in a way that will give him the impression that you are seeking his opinion and not attacking him. In relationships we must always focus on the issue and not the person.”
- Don’t be a bully
Yes, you’re independent and you make a truck load of money. But, who says you can accept gift or money from someone who loves you even if they earn way less than you. Men like to feel like they are needed especially in the money department, so don’t shut that door. Let him provide for you within his means. Expert advice: “Do not develop the attitude of thinking that you don’t need a man just because you earn more money than him,” says Sauer.
- Let him provide for you
It does not take much to ask your man how his day went and actually listen to him. Expert advice: “Learning to listen is not the easiest thing to do but if you want to make him feel special you have to do it. Maintain eye contact when he is talking and do not interrupt him. By listening attentively you show him how important the conversation is to you and that will make it easier for him to open up,” Modiba says.
Each individual has a role to play in the relationship. His role is to provide for your physical and emotional needs, while you have to play your part of taking care of him. Being career-driven can make it hard to play your role, but it is important to show your man that you are capable of making him happy. Expert advice: “Sustaining your relationship entails performing your role, such as cooking for him and taking good care of him. If you pay more attention to your work and neglect your family, it spells disaster because your man will go to someone who will give him attention,” Sauer states.
- Be his woman
“It is all about finding balance in your life, career and relationship, instead of trying to be super woman. Decide how much time is enough to spend in each area in your life,” Sauer says. Expert advice: “Believing in yourself makes your man respect you because your self-acceptance shows that the material things you posses do not define you. You are not your job, house, car or clothes. The moment you accept yourself for the woman you really are, the more your relationship will grow into a deeper and stronger level because you are not in it to prove a point to anyone,” says Modiba.
- Don’t be a perfectionist
Making an effort to be involved in activities that your man enjoys, especially ones that he invites you to, will show him that you want to make you him happy, and he will feel appreciated. Expert advice: Modiba says, “For a man to have the support of his woman in his leisure activities means a lot. If he plays golf then the next time he goes, join him. Showing interest in your man’s hobbies allows you to spend more quality time with him and you may even surprise yourself and find that you are actually enjoying yourself.”
- Be interested in him
Giving your man space is not synonymous with being absent from his life because of your busy schedule. It involves agreeing with each other when you will spend time alone or with friends. Expert advice: “There are times when your man may not be in the mood to talk or do anything, so give him time to be on his own,” Modiba says. “It does not mean that his behaviour has anything to do with you. At times he’ll need his space to be with his friends, so will you. Give him the space and freedom he needs.”
- Give him space