Varying stages of sex in a relationship


Sex in the early stages of a relationship is undoubtedly exciting. You're still getting familiar to each other's bodies and everything is new. But we all know the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever; things can begin to feel mundane. Read on to get insight on what to expect on the road ahead.

Couple in bed

Start hooking up

When it starts, everything is shiny and new, and each time your clothes come off, there's a good chance you'll uncover something about your partner's sexual preferences. When you have a new partner, you can let go and focus on your own pleasure, but once you’re in a relationship, you often feel a sense of responsibility.

6 to 12 months in a relationship

Yes, you’re at this great point where sex with your partner is still exciting and new, but you also know their body enough to really turn them on, and you should enjoy it but know that even greater intimacy lies on the other side. According to a study published on the Archives of Sexual Behavior Journal, that looked at the sexual satisfaction of 2 814 straight people in committed relationships,  couples tended to be happier with their sex lives between the six-month and 12-month marks of their relationships than at any other time.

When you’re married

But the comfort that you and your long-term partner have at this point can help you feel more adventurous and open to acting on your fantasies or trying out sex toys. Sex therapist Megan Fleming advises, “if you do find yourself in a sexual rut once solidly in a long-term partnership, communicating openly about how you’d like your sex life to change is the first step. It’s also important to recognise that your sexual dynamic doesn’t exist in a vacuum and is affected by all of the other milestones (and challenges) you’re going through.”

When you have kids

Sex is a vital part of most people’s well-being, and it’s often one of the first things to be set aside as non-essential when couples have kids. This is the stage where after spending a day in close contact with kids, someone might understandably not be in the mood to be touched sexually by their partner. One possible solution to this could be morning sex. Or, if you’re too tired to have sex at night, you could put on your kid’s favourite TV show and escape to the bedroom for an hour. You shouldn’t feel guilty about insisting on sexual time for yourself once you become a parent.

We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. For 14 free days, you can have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Journalism strengthens democracy. Invest in the future today. Thereafter you will be billed R75 per month. You can cancel anytime and if you cancel within 14 days you won't be billed. 
Subscribe to News24