What’s your relationship persona?


?Life coach Queen Nkomo explains that every relationship has a persona – the defining characteristic that a union takes – which results when two parties come together. Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 4.19.39 PM Take a moment to figure out the nature of your relationship. Egotistic Mention the words “boastful couple”, and many people think of Kimye. We love to hate them for their unashamedly flashy ways. They are show-offs; the gimmicks never end with this type of attention-seeking couple. In real life they post pictures of everything they do on Instagram with the hashtags #Justus or #Wifey, and flaunt their PDA (public displays of affection) wherever they go. But, warns Queen: “They would rather have people focus on the gimmicks and use this as a strategy to divert attention from the real cracks. This way, they avoid working on their challenges as they are so busy trying to fool everyone.” Break up to make up Kylie Jenner and Tyga have gotten into a cycle of breaking up to make up. This couple is addicted to all the drama that comes with such behaviour. They broke up last year on Tyga’s birthday, but had made up by the end of the year, and have now broken up again. No one knows when and how this push-pull will end. In their “happy couple” times, you’d swear they’ve never even had the drama. On her website www.straightfromtheheart.com, relationship expert and author Sheri Meyers Gantman says: “Being a veteran of a break-up, make-up and, yes unfortunately, break-up again scenario, I know first hand about the magical thinking that can fog your ability to see the situation clearly. We tell ourselves that ‘this time it will be different’, or ‘I now know that he is my great love, so we’ll be able to get through anything’, and ‘I’ve changed and/or my partner has changed... now it will work.’ “The thing is, no matter what your heart or head is telling you, it’s critical to remain rational. The unresolved problems that caused the original break-up will resurface once you both return to your comfort zone.” The perfect pair This couple is so perfect, you can’t help but be envious of them. Take actors Will and Jada Smith, who seem to have it all: they’re both talented and powerful, and have a great relationship. Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker, and Oprah and Stedman also fall under this category. But like the Jay Z, Beyoncé and Solange elevator incident, and ‘the Becky with the good hair’, nothing in life is ever perfect. Most of the time, perfection equals pressure. “Society expects this couple not to have any fights or flaws. This leaves them no room to get support through their rough patches,” says Queen. Toxic lovers They know that they shouldn’t be together, but just can’t leg go of each other. Remember the tango between Khloe and Lamar, or Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez? ?In this type of relationship, parties just brings out the worst in each other. And verbal, emotional or even physical abuse is often involved in the mix. And often, these couples tolerate each other for a lengthy time period, while some eventually part ways.

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