When he cheats on your friend

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Experts weigh in.

You’ve seen him kiss another woman. And on the other hand your friend keeps complaining about things not going right in her relationship. You know why. Will you spill the beans? Psychologist Olga Molebatsi says friendship is based on openness, trust and honesty. “Depending on how close you are, I’d recommend you tell your friend, but when and how you go about it is crucial. Because the person is your friend, I’d assume that telling her comes from a protective place. “But,” warns Molebatsi, “before you reveal the truth, make sure you have all the facts straight. If possible, get solid proof in the form of an explicit picture or a recording.” Joburg-based clinical psychologist Teboho Monyamane says it’s often hard to decide whether to tell your friend about her cheating man. “You don’t want to hurt her, but you may feel guilty and anxious about withholding this from her,” she adds. “It’s hard to predict how your mate may respond. She could appreciate your loyalty, but she might also feel betrayed.” Molebatsi says there are a few ways to go about revealing the alleged infidelity. Before you tell your friend, you could approach the partner, show him proof of his unfaithfulness, and give them a chance to come clean to his partner before you do it. “Instead of breaking the news to your friend, show him or her what you’ve witnessed, if that’s possible. You can create an intentional coincidence where you and your friend meet and see the cheating partner in action. Or, if the idea of revealing the news creates discomfort, you can leave your friend an anonymous note and evidence. If you’re going to tell her face to face, then make your friend aware that you have something important to share. Arrange to meet in a quiet place where it’s just the two of you. Be sensitive and sincere, even if you don’t like the partner,” she advises. Read the full story in True Love Magazine on shelf now
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