True Love speaks to four women who had a connection with a guy, but never got a call back. We also asked guys to respond. Sindi: “He was everything I could’ve wanted in a guy. He was smart, funny and had a good job. We went out on a couple of dates and I was nervous leading up to the days when we would kiss, because I always think if the kiss is good, it’s? a sign that things will work out.? We eventually kissed, and I swear the next day it was like he had disappeared from the planet. Of course this wasn’t true, because I stalked his social network timelines and he was still tweeting and updating his Facebook page. What he wasn’t doing, though, was calling me.” What the guys say: “Unfortunately, the truth ?is that guys are remarkably good at going with the flow, even if they’ve decided they’re not sexually attracted to you or aren’t interested in taking things further. It’s more than likely that he wasn’t sexually attracted to you or something in your ensuing conversation made him believe he was in way over his head.” Dintle: “I was seeing a guy for six months. Everything? was good and we enjoyed each other’s company... until the day he just disappeared. I sent him a WhatsApp. It was received but he didn’t answer. I started getting worried, thinking something bad had happened to him. My friend advised me to call him but he didn’t pick up. I saw that he was very active on social media, and it confirmed that it was just me he didn’t want to talk to. Months later, I bumped into him at the airport. He said, ‘Why don’t you call me?’ and then rushed off.” What the guys say: “You are smart enough to know that he knows full well you tried to call. You may never know why he disappeared – maybe he ‘just wasn’t that into you’, didn’t want to get into anything serious, or was intimidated by something you said. Please understand that he was trying to avoid you. He just didn’t bank on that chance meeting at the airport. When he saw you, he probably just blurted out the first thing that popped into his head.” 34) Cebo: “I met a guy and we were cool. Then ?he told me he had money issues and I advised him how he could go about solving them. The next day, ?he deleted me off Facebook, Twitter, everything, and didn’t take my calls. What the guys say: “Unless? his actions are being grossly misinterpreted, he was just hoping you would be a part of the solution to his money problems. You, my friend, dodged a money-sucking leech.” Unathi: “l met a guy who was open about the fact that he had a girlfriend and we only started going on dates because he said they were in the process of breaking up. Three weeks into it, he disappeared – and ignored my calls. We hadn’t even fought or anything... After three weeks he came back, acted like nothing happened and told me he went away ?to clear his mind. I took him back. He still disappears every two months... Sometimes the absences are short and at other times very long.” What the guys say: “Let’s all say this together: he still has a girlfriend and probably has no intention at all of ever breaking up with her. When he goes to ‘clear his head’ it’s probably with the help of this girlfriend. The best thing you can do for yourself is cut all ties at this point because it’s a vicious circle and he believes you’re willing to be a part of it.”
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