You, her and your child


You’ve ended things with your child’s father and moved on. Now there’s a new woman in his life. How do you co-parent with his new partner? Screen Shot 2016-09-19 at 4.34.13 PM Here are some no-fail tips for harmonious parenting: For you to be able to co-parent with the other woman, seek guidance from professionals and people you trust. This seemingly tough task is doable. Here’s how: Talk to each otherAlexa Young, a clinical psychologist based in Joburg suggests that you, your ex and his new partner open communication lines. “Trying to speak to your ex’s new woman may be hard for you if the break up was dramatic and you are still bitter about it. However, talking needs to be done for the benefit of the child. Strive to create an environment where you all work as a unit,” she says. Share your rules “Children will try to push boundaries sometimes. That’s why instilling rules from a young age is important. They need to know what the rules are,” stresses Young. “It can be confusing for a child to follow one set of rules when they’re with their mother and different ones at their dad’s. It’s possible to create an amicable relationship. Also, negotiate rules away from your child.” Set a routine Issues such as separation and meeting new partners can create uncertainty and may leave your child feeling insecure. “A child needs routine at home, as well as knowing what kind of guidance they should expect from their caretakers. This will help them feel safe to ask questions and make sense of the world around them,” says Young. Tips for the new partner As a new woman in your man’s life, you need to be mindful of how you manage the situation. Here are a few tips to help you: *Take your time. Sometimes as the new partner, you may make the mistake of loving too much and wanting to get involved too quickly. Tread carefully to avoid being perceived as a person to replace the mother.? *Put the child at ease. Let them have time with their dad. *Avoid buying her affection. She will see right through you if you’re buying her love. *You are not her mother. You can make recommendations, but know that you are not the child’s mom. *Know your motives. Make sure that your intention to forge a relationship with her is genuine.

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