Emotional or physical cheating: which is worse?


A professor at the University of Washington, Prof. Wendy Lustbader explains on Psychology Today that emotional affairs are worse than physical ones here’s why:

It’s dishonesty

Even though there’s no kissing, touching or any form of physical contact involved, emotional cheating is more deceitful as it creates a culture of dishonesty. All of a sudden he takes his calls outside and says it’s business when it isn’t. His behavior will change and not in a way that is good for your relationship.

It indicates relationship problems

For the fact that your partner was able to build an emotional connection with someone else besides you, should tell you something is lacking between you two. Remember it always takes two to tango, so it’s neither your fault or his. There’s a void that you need to identify and deal with it head on. If not, your partnership is doomed.

It requires feelings

Unlike having a one night stand that your partner may forget about tomorrow, emotional affairs are good at building up long term feelings. What started as a casual fling could end up being love and once there’s a third person involved chances of your relationship remaining the same is very slim.

It’s hard to explain

If your partner was to get physically intimate with someone else, a common excuse that he might use could be that he was seduced and you might move on from that. But, explaining how he fell in love with someone else is challenging. Now that you know his heart beats for someone else is there still space for you? We don’t think so.

It creates distance between you

Be it physical or emotional, juggling two partners at the same time is time consuming and many struggle to find a balance hence they get caught. You as the long term partner are bound to get neglected once there’s someone new taking up his attention. Everything you were used to doing such as catching up after work or cuddling will be done less. 

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