Healthy ways of dealing with conflict in a relationship

Couple arguing
Couple arguing

What are some of the main causes of conflict in a relationship?

Lack of communication can be a problem when couples are not communicating with each other, as well as not sharing their needs or frustrations.  Not saying what it is that you’re looking for from a partner can lead to conflict. Other reasons include fighting over finances, family, quality time and work.

How can couples best negotiate differences in opinions?

Couples need to understand that they will never agree on everything 100% because they are unique individuals. You and your partner have different upbringings and views when it comes to certain situations or problems. You also have different perspectives so it’s important to note that it’s okay to disagree.

You should rather focus on the things that you and your partner have in common and things that you agree with. Couples should always try to find a way to reach a middle ground or a solution that works for both parties. This means that one of them may have to contribute differently to a situation versus what they had originally intended, because they both want what’s best for the relationship and each other. It’s not about who’s winning and losing, it’s about how do we both benefit from this situation.

What are some of the healthy approaches one can use when dealing with conflict?

It’s about finding the right time to have the conversation. Avoid talking about it first thing in the morning, before going to bed or when you’re on your way to work. It’s always best to make time to sit down and have that conversation with each other, go into the chat with the right approach, which is a positive mindset and a solution-oriented mindset.

If you feel that you’re getting heated or the conversation is getting out of control rather take a break and continue with it the next day once you’ve reflected and thought about other solutions. If you’re not finding a way forward, it’s best to seek professional help and have someone to help you navigate through the conflict.

If you and your partner have different ways of handling conflict, how do you resolve disagreements?

Couples will always have different ways of handling conflict; this is traditionally from childhood because we get taught when we’re ypung how to deal with conflict. So you will have different ways of managing arguments and there’s nothing wrong with that. The most important thing is understanding how you both deal with conflict and how to help each other when you’re in those challenging situations to remain respectful to each other.

When dealing with conflict, you need to:

·      Be a good listener

·      Develop a good level of emotional intelligence so that you can understand what the other person is trying to say

·      Contain your own reaction. It’s not always about you and you don’t have to take it personal.

·      Look for positive solution that benefits the both of you.



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