How to date someone with intimacy issues

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Gettyimages
Gettyimages

Open yourself up to him

Creating a barrier between you two will not do you any justice. Rather you open yourself up to him, that way he knows you’re there whenever he’s ready to tackle this problem. In turn, he won’t feel the need to hold back.

 

Share your flaws with him

There’s nothing as great as knowing that you’re not the only one dealing with issues. By being transparent about some of the things you struggle with, he’ll be able to see that nobody is perfect hence he shouldn’t be embarassed about his flaws.

 

Get to the bottom of it

People with intimacy problems often have a way of dodging questions regarding their ‘problem’. Don’t give them the opportunity to do so. Knowing and understanding where the problem started will come in handy when looking for possible solutions.

 

Don’t be pushy

The trick here is to take baby steps. You don’t want to overwhelm him. Work on his pace, by starting with holding hands, overtime when he’s now used to it, follow with cuddling until he gets to a point of comfort regarding anything involving intimacy.

 

Encourage him to talk to about his past

It’s advisable that you take the lead with this. Share your past relationship experiences, the good and the ugly. Get him to do so as well bearing in mind that you don’t want to push too hard. This will give you an insight on how he managed to maintain past relationships or what went wrong.

 

Don’t normalise it

Convincing yourself that you’re okay with this will impact your relationship negatively in the long run. Acknowledge that indeed there’s a problem and as opposed to ignoring it you’re going to tackle it head on.

 

It’s not an overnight thing

Chances are he didn’t just wake up and realised he had issues with intimacy. It could be a combination of his upbringing and his adulthood experience hence you also wont see change overnight.

 

 

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