How to tell if you’re a self-absorbed couple


Being self-absorbed will happen subconsciously, so if any of your friends haven’t called you out on it, here are the tell-tale signs to look out for:

Everything is centred on your relationship

According to the founder of an NGO Art of Living Foundation Catrina McFate you’ll notice that in most conversations you have, you use “us, we, my boyfriend and I” a lot more than you use “I”. While that may be a beautiful thing for your relationship, it leads to dependency in such a way that you no longer own your own views.

You always have to be home at the same

Have you ever tried making plans with a friend who’s always checking the time because they have to be home at the same time as their partner? Not fun, right? This may have a negative influence on your other relationships. You’ll notice you don’t get invited to meet-ups anymore because no one wants to hang out with an adult with a curfew.  

You never reach out to other people

One-sided relationships often end a lot of friendships. If you seldom catch up with everyone else in your life without your partner being present, then what’s the point of keeping those friendships? Professor of Psychology at California State University Kelly Campbell says self-absorbed couples usually take offence when called out on this behaviour. This is because they see nothing wrong in what they’re doing. In return, some friendships crumble.  

You have the ‘it’s us against the world mentality’

You’ll do everything and anything you want to regardless of who gets hurt in the process. As long as you, as a couple, are good nobody else matters. It’s important to realise that, while it’s good to have a happy relationship with your man, you also need others in your life. Experts advise that you find a balance between the two.

You’re always telling your love story

Love is beautiful and should be embraced at all times.  However, give yourself a chance to learn about other couples as well, avoid making everything about you. If you’ve shared your love story once with your friends, then there’s no need to refer to it all the time.

We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. For 14 free days, you can have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Journalism strengthens democracy. Invest in the future today. Thereafter you will be billed R75 per month. You can cancel anytime and if you cancel within 14 days you won't be billed. 
Subscribe to News24