To post or not to post? Your relationship and social media


Nowadays, it’s easier to have a say on anyone’s relationship because most people are comfortable broadcasting their baes for all to see. When couples go through a breakup, the competition for who is happier begins – this is evident from the endless “I’ve moved on and life is better without you” quotes, pictures captioned “single life is stress free”, and even posting memes making fun of exes.

The real sad story is that a breakup is a phase that takes time, so putting up a façade will not make the process progress any faster, unless you deal with it internally and avoid trying to shove it up others’ or your ex’s face.  

Motivational speaker and author of Why Are You Getting Married, Bheki Zungu, said that it is imperative that couples have boundaries when it comes to social media. “All the negative issues and developments like disagreements, fights etc, must be kept completely out of social media, and dealt with privately”, he stated.   

Zungu also highlighted that social media can cause irreparable damage because people say hurtful things to their loved ones even if they don’t mean them. “When things are not going well, and they are put out there on social media, they remain there even when the couple has resolved their issues. If bad stuff has been said, not all of it can be retracted from the Internet. Hence, my strong recommendation is that relationship challenges should never find their way to social media. If it gets there via outsiders, well that is something beyond the couple's control”, he said.

In one situation when there is no longer communication within the relationship, other people find it rather compelling to say whatever they please to their partner through posts of how, what and how one should treat their partner, or what is expected of them in a relationship. Question is, did your partner pursue you through posts for all to see?

Other cases just have “attention seeker” written all over them, as was recently the case when Chrissy Teigen tweeted that her husband John Legend was ignoring her inboxes. YAWN!

In other dreadful cases, it is situations whereby threats are flying all over newsfeeds and statuses of “if I can’t have you nobody else will, you will never find someone like me”, or shaming previous partners on how terrible they are in bed and revealing all the secrets they once shared together. This is distasteful!

“If it is negative issues that are flaunted, it leaves a bitter taste. And even if we go back to the time when there was no social media, the challenges that the couples faced were dealt with privately and discussed with trusted family members, counsellors and advisors. Even with social media having gained popularity, this important rule should still apply”, Zungu added.


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