Ways to effectively discuss your past with your new man

Dreamstime images
Dreamstime images

What do you want to tell him?

Telling him your entire life story might be tricky to do in one sitting. He can learn more about you as time goes. Filter your stories into categories from the most important to the less important issues. You want to tackle the big issues first. This is a great way to let your partner in on what you’re looking for in a relationship.

Where and when are you going to have a discussion?

Timing is everything so ensure that you don’t bombard your guy with heavy issues first thing in the morning or during a heated argument. Pick a location that you’re most comfortable in to ensure that you’re relaxed during the conversation. Avoid having a detailed plan on what you’re going to tell him as this might sound scripted and fake. Have an idea of what you want to discuss and go with the flow.

Consider his feelings

You don’t want to go on about how your family loved your ex if you know your current man doesn’t get along with them. Be realistic about his reactions as he might get jealous, judgemental, or even angry. It’s best you ask him to keep an open mind when listening. 

Avoid comparisons

Comparing him with other people isn’t going to do any justice for the two of you. Depending on the type of person your current man is, he might ask you who’s better between him and your ex, be smart about it. You could either dodge the question or just embellish the truth a bit if you see there’s a possibility of having a great future with the guy.

Don’t reveal too much too soon

Remember when the relationship is still new, it would be wise not to reveal things that he might use against you should your relationship not be successful. Keep some secrets to yourself and reveal them once he has proven himself worthy of your trust.

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