What NOT to do when your partner cheats

Hlomla Dandala
Hlomla Dandala

Expose him/her on social media 

These days, couples aren’t racing to the altar anymore. Instead, they’re rushing to update the world on the state of their relationship, if hashtags like #baegoals, #baecation and #baeday are anything to go by. Some people are obsessed with sharing everything with their followers and friends on social media. But should your partner hurt you, this isn’t advisable. It’s very normal to be deeply hurt by your partner’s actions, but to expose him or her on social media is not the answer. Do not act out of anger, or make decisions when you’re highly emotional. This is especially important if there are kids involved. Do your best to keep them (the public and kids) out of it, until absolutely necessary.

READ MORE: Surviving infidelity: 5 steps to re-establish trust

Hlomla Dandala post
Hlomla Dandala's Instagram post

Confront the other woman 

Obviously, finding out about your partner’s infidelity is painful, but learning that it’s with someone you know or are even close to, is enough to give anyone a heart attack. And although it’s very rare to react gracefully, any violent or immediate response to this betrayal may go south. 

‘Fetching the other woman’ isn’t anything new, and comes from a place of hurt. We’ve been seeing a lot of women ‘getting fetched’ by the wife, by ill-treating or humiliating the mistress on video because the husband or boyfriend strayed. Don’t be that girl. It’s important to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and respect the person you see. Also, calling the other woman is an act of displacement — you are talking to the wrong person about your relationship.

READ MORE: When the woman cheats...

Blame yourself for the infidelity 

Blaming yourself for being cheated on is the default setting for most people. Remember, you have no power over what your partner does. Most importantly, his infidelity has nothing to do with you so don’t blame yourself for the incident. It is not your fault, and no matter what he says, it is solely his fault. 

READ MORE: When the woman cheats...

Should you and your partner decide to continue with the relationship after this chapter, then you need to fully forgive and start with the healing process. Sometimes forgiveness involves forgiving yourself, as well as your partner.