‘I realised that I'm polyamorous just before I turned 30’ - Cape Town woman on learning to love

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Illustration. Photo by Getty Images
Illustration. Photo by Getty Images

I thought that it wasn't something for me. That my dalliance with ethical non-monogamy was just that, but I was wrong. When I was 24, I started dating a man I met at a party. I thought it was only a one-night stand - it turned into a terrible 14-month relationship. 

READ MORE: 'My boyfriend lost his job because of lockdown and refuses to do odd jobs. Should I leave him?'

At the time, he was married to someone else and told me upfront he was polyamorous. I loved the little family we formed; myself, my boyfriend, his wife and her fiancée. I was willing to try out this new relationship dynamic if it meant I could keep my boyfriend and our family. But I didn't realise how toxic the relationship was until after we broke up.

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