"I'm 26, married and expecting another man's child - what do I do?"

Cropped shot of a young woman taking a home pregnancy test
Cropped shot of a young woman taking a home pregnancy test

But what if the problem was infidelity and a baby was conceived as a result?

26-year-old Lala is a married woman who fell pregnant with another man's baby while her husband was working out of the country and she has no idea how to break this life changing and devastating news to the man she's been married to for almost four years.

Read Lala's story below.

"I met Michael when we were only 17. For years he showed interest in me but at the time I was seeing Ryan who was the typical bad boy. While Michael was the perfect gentleman, I guess I always had a thing for the wrong kinds of guys.

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After years of being mistreated by Ryan I eventually left him and like a real life fairy tale, Michael swooped in and wiped my tears away. His love felt safer than Ryan's and there was never the constant fear that he was being unfaithful or that he would just up and leave one day.

I guess that's what I appreciate about him the most, the stability he is able to offer me. 

Perhaps this is where the problem began. While Michael is the man I need, I have always wanted the excitement of partying and living wildly on the edge, and my dear Michael is the complete opposite. He lives his life based on a strict schedule, which I admire greatly.

If only it didn't bore me to death.

Last year September, Michael was set to leave the country for eight months on a business trip. I never mind because I am no stranger to the lengthy trips his job always requires him to go on and so after a heartfelt goodbye, he left, set to return in May this year.

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During the festive season, I decided to go out with a few friends for some drinks and a night out on the town. One of my best friends was seeing my ex Ryan's brother, so it wasn't too much of a surprise when Ryan was among the party crew.

Besides we're both adults - all we had to do was act mature about the situation and everything would be okay, right? Wrong. The night seemed to last forever with an endless bar hopping and tequila shots, until I was unable to even walk on my own.

These were the nights I was used to before I married my quiet husband and settled down, and while I love the peace, I loved getting out there again - that is until the next morning I woke up to Ryan next to me in an apartment I don't remember being in before.

To my dismay, it was Ryan's apartment and we had had unprotected sex.

READ MORE: Woman discovers fiancé is cheating when Facebook suggests his wife as a friend

Feeling worse than the scum of the earth I quickly gathered my belongings and left the apartment planning on never seeing Ryan again. Fast forward two weeks later, and I have an unexplained feeling of nausea. I literally can't keep anything down.

At back of my mind, I imagine pregnancy as the reason but I refuse to believe it. After not being able to take feeling sick anymore, I visit my doctor only to have my worst fears realised.

I am pregnant with another man's baby while my husband is out of the country. All of a sudden, it feels like everything I've built with him could be lost with one conversation and I just don't have the courage to let him know and I don't want to lose him."

This is quite a situation Lala has on her hands, so we called in relationship expert Paula Quinsee to offer some professional advice.

She says that firstly, Lala should be transparent and completely honest with her current partner about the situation. Letting him believe it is his child may lead to legal implications in terms of the rights of the biological father. Lala also needs to manage expectations of the biological father.

READ MORE: 10 ways to make your marriage last - from 4 experts

Paula recommends that she establish the role the biological father intends to play or that she wants him to play in the life of the child e.g. maintenance, visitation rights, parenting plan etc.

She will need to manage her relationship with her current partner i.e. does she still want to be in a relationship with him and is he still willing to be in a relationship with her knowing she is carrying someone else’s child?

The fact that she has had an ‘affair’ implies that there is something wrong in her current relationship and they will need to address this before they can move forward in the relationship and decide how they are going to handle the situation.

They will need to address the trust issue that has been created as a result of this situation (which can take a long time to repair). "My recommendation is that they seek professional assistance to help them work through these various stages," Paula says.

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