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PART 4 of 7: Here is Stephanie's story.
If I told him the truth, I'd never get to live my dream.
I closed my eyes in delight as my husband, Dave, rubbed his foot against my calf under the dinner table. He surprised me with a delicious home-cooked meal of steak and roast potatoes with a big glass of red wine as soon as I'd walked through the door.
Afterwards, I gave him a hand clearing the table. "Have you taken your pill today?" He winked, placing the plates in the sink, "because things are about to get heated."
Within seconds he hoisted me onto the kitchen bench and we made love next to the dirty dishes and leftover spuds. Dave and I had been together for four years, but we still had an incredible sex life. With no kids, we were free to get down and dirty whenever and wherever we wanted.
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Before Dave, I was with another guy named Jonathan. But while he and I were dating, doctors told me I only had a two percent chance of conceiving children due to stage four endometriosis. I was devastated. Jonathan and I had always dreamed of having kids. He tried to be understanding but eventually broke it off. I had to accept I'd be childless forever.
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A few months later, I met Dave and we connected instantly. He was sexy, charming and didn't want to be a dad! I felt like I'd hit the jackpot. When I told him my situation, he was adamant he wouldn't change his mind. "In fact, I'd prefer that you'd take the pill just to be sure," he added.
Ever since, that's exactly what I'd done. But one day, I looked down at the silver blister pack.
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Why do I even bother taking these? I thought. The pill came with side effects like weight gain and a low sex drive. I didn't see the point in suffering through them for no reason.
Within days of being off contraception, I felt randier than ever. Dave and I were having sex everyday, sometimes more than once! But a month later, I noticed my breasts had become tender and were spilling out of my bra. It's probably just my period, I thought.
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But when it never arrived, I had to accept the possibility that I might be pregnant. A test confirmed it. Against all the odds, a baby was growing inside me. Deep down I was thrilled but the problem was, how would I tell Dave? There was every chance he'd pack his bags and leave me.
"I honestly don't know how it happened," I said, when I sat him down later that night. "But I really want to keep this baby." Dave put his head in his hands. "Are you still on birth control?" he asked. I nodded, unable to bring myself to tell him the truth. He took that to be some kind of powerful sign that this was all meant to be. "I just want you to be happy," he replied.
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Although he wasn't exactly thrilled, Dave was the perfect partner and went on to become the best dad to our son, Jamie, now 12. I can't help but feel like he never would've stuck around if I'd been honest with him about skipping the pill. I love our little family and have no regrets but this is a secret that I'll take to my grave.
* Stephanie is 44 years oldIf you would like to share a similar story, get in touch with us here.
SOURCES: CEN/MAGAZINE FEATURES
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