Bonang wears a ring which she says is her ‘stop nonsense’ - here’s how other women discourage unwanted suitors from pursuing them


Bonang Matheba’s “stop nonsense” ring is one of the many relatable things about Bonang. Of course, not many of us are able to walk around with a giant rock on our fingers, many women have their own versions of the “stop nonsense” ring.

“I think men, in general, are a tough category - they’re a very tough wall to breakdown,” Bonang says so eloquently on the U.S morning radio show, The Breakfast Club.

Traditionally, rings have had specific meanings for women – from the promise ring, to the engagement ring, to the wedding, and dare I say, the ‘purity’ ring. For millennial women, and even some women before our generation, a new meaning has been given to the band around the ring finger – especially the one on the left-hand side.

READ MORE: Bride-to-be gets a tiny diamond on her engagement ring and considers giving it back to her fiancé

Different women wear the rings on their left ring fingers for various reasons, whether it’s deterring unwanted advances from men or for avoiding nagging questions about when you’re getting married, there’s plenty of ‘nonsense’ that needs ‘stopping’.

Often it’s just easy to side-step confrontation with men particularly because, as Kendyl Klein relays her experience on the Washington Post, “I didn’t want to make him angry. I didn’t know his temper, and I didn’t want to make the situation worse.”

Wearing a ring on your left ring finger is on the same level as the famous movie and television trope of a woman pretending to be romantically involved with a man in the vicinity, or women giving strange men their fake names and cell numbers. It’s a wicked way of survival but it can get you off the hook at times.

I usually tell guys my name is Buhle, I ensure that I emphasise the name by using a Zulu accent. Then when it comes to my number, I give them my real number but I change the last four digits so they don’t get a hold of me.

READ MORE: Women on Twitter are sharing terrifying stories about men who can't take "no" for an answer

Women have had to get even more creative with how we navigate men’s advances, and a stop nonsense ring is certainly a way to do it. The social media users agree:

READ MORE: 84% of black women are abused and harassed by other Twitter users

In the case below, the stop nonsense way of avoidance has been passed down to a generation: 

My mom has been single my whole life. At some point in my teen years she starting wearing a ring on her ring finger, which I didn’t think much of at first. At one point, she lost the original ring and started wearing an earring as its replacement (and it looked similar to the ring). It wasn’t until last year that she told me to get one. I thought it was strange, I was 29, single and not looking to scare away ‘potentials’. She was like it prevents people from disrespecting you and that’s why she had one back in the day. Also, in the small town where I come from married women are more respected than single women. I had been at a car-wash for hours and by the time my car was being washed, it was getting late. The washers said something off and I said: “my husband wouldn’t like it if I got home late, so please hurry” as a joke. They started working fast all of a sudden, finished and begged me to beg my ‘husband’ to forgive them for delaying me. The next day I had another incident and I mentioned my (non-existent) ‘husband’ and I was left alone immediately. “You want such bad behaviour and nonsense to stop,” my mom said, “get a ring, wear it all the time, and you will be left alone.”

What do you think can be done for there to no longer be a need for a "stop nonsense" ring? Let us know here.

Sign up to W24’s newsletters so you don't miss out on any of our hot stories and giveaways.

We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. For only R75 per month, you have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Journalism strengthens democracy. Invest in the future today.
Subscribe to News24
Voting Booth
What's your favourite winter style staple?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Outerwear - coats, jackets
31% - 77 votes
18% - 44 votes
18% - 46 votes
Sweats and hoodies
28% - 70 votes
5% - 12 votes