I wanted to write about this last week. To talk about the term stocko. The word being used to describe what at its worst men call women or girls who are bartered for sex and slightly less innocuously party girls.
As if we’re actual stock. Livestock or goods to be sold. Products for consumption. Imagine. It's taken me this long to relax enough to be able to continue the conversation.
The discussion blew up last week when a famous radio personality’s daughter (19-years-old even) was slut-shamed and accused of giving sexual favours to various famous local and international musicians and performers.
I’m not going to link any articles or name any names because I don’t want to further victimise her.
A few women came forward to express their disgust but I've yet to come across any men who are calling out their peers for this. I stand to be corrected though. Please send me a link if you come across any thoughtful pieces.
Weekend is over and I'm still trying to get over the fact that our sons are calling our daughters "stocko".— Joonji Mdyogolo (@Joonji) October 23, 2017
Ok Phemelo. Stocko is wrong because instead of referring to women/girls as human beings they're called inanimate objects to be shipped/used— Pontsho Pilane (@pontsho_pilane) October 22, 2017
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It’s not a new term and has been bandied about for years but what I find even more tragic is how women call other women or refer to themselves as stocko.
Why is it so difficult to understand that we do not exist to entertain and pleasure men. Or that we need to behave in a way that caters to men's needs or expectations.
Why am I being extra if I don't find it funny or light-hearted?
Of course we have come a long way when it comes to how men see and treat women but the recurrence of words like stocko reminds us how far too many of us have to go.
Just take a look at a few other examples of sexist attitudes in advertising towards women that have been called out. That each entity thought it was okay to make these ads is crazy. And a new one sparks outrage every few weeks.
Sometimes it feels like too few decision makers and influencers are even listening. How do these ads even come to see the light of day?
A recent ad by IKEA was pulled after critics complained it was sexist and stigmatised single women (called sheng nu - leftover women) in China.
In the video where the furtniture takes a backseat, a mother tells her daughter not to call her mom until she gets a man. Women are basically reduced to be worthless and without value if they don't have a boyfriend or husband. Okay.
Please email me on email@example.com. I'd love to hear what you have to say about stocko along with what it's like to date, have sex and start a relationship in 2017.