We are flirting with the idea of being a part of an adulting stokvel - they don't really exist but they really need to

Women sharing their challenges and triumphs through adulthood with each other
Women sharing their challenges and triumphs through adulthood with each other

Millennials are now being accused of killing something else, and this time it's not the way we drink or the way we work.

According to an article written by Andrew Zaleski, we have killed "something so fundamental that it may have seemed unkillable, but apparently isn’t," and that is knowing how to be an adult.

I am rolling my eyes at the fact that we're being blamed for another glitch in the order of things, but then again, how much can we be blamed for something we were never really taught or prepared for? 

In the article, Andrew relates his experience of going to an adulting school and my only question is why these sort of schools haven't gone viral yet. We're all struggling, and we have one or two thousand tweets to show it. 

READ MORE: If you’re a millennial, here are some tips to earn your older colleagues’ respect and close the generational gap 

We asked a few millennials what their experience of adulting has been like so far, and this is what they had to say.  

Describe what adulting has been like for you so far?

Kopano Magamba: It really has been a lot more than I thought I could handle. It's basically like jogging and juggling at the same time - if that makes sense. 

Julieta Aurelio: There's been a lot of falling, and a lot more of getting up. It's been an interesting rollercoaster. 

Pitso Mashilo: Adulting has been a rollercoaster ride. I love taking charge of my own life but it’s also very stressful because you have no one else to fall back on but yourself. 

Banele Malobola: It's a trap but no different that the other phases I've gone through in life, this one just involves a lot of money and responsibility to make sure I survive. 

READ MORE: How to spot the signs and help a friend who's battling with mental health issues 

What's the one thing you wish they taught you about being an adult when you were younger?

Kopano: The importance of emotional and mental wellness. Those two, in my opinion, are very key to surviving adulting.

Julieta: If only I could be reminded often that I can start over as often as I need to. 

Pitso: I wish I had been taught how to manage my money better. I think I would’ve made different decisions and would have made more progress than what I’ve made so far. 

Banele: Taxes!! Why don't they teach this in school! 

READ MORE: Spent too much money living your best life? Here's how to right the financial wrongs you made in your 20s 

What's one thing that you're getting right and that you're proud you're finally figuring out?

Kopano: I don't have an answer for this question.

Julieta: Manifesting and yoga. I'm proud to have figure out that life happens for me, not to me.

Pitso: Holding myself accountable and showing up even when I don’t feel like it. 

Banele: Prioritising my responsibilities and time. I have figured out what's important and worth the time. 

READ MORE: "I was the weird person on the Gautrain bus, eyes closed with my hands on my lap, meditating" 

After chatting to a few people, this is what we imagined our stokvel would be like; and we came up with the first few items that should be on the agenda for our hypothetical adulting stokvel. 

READ MORE: WATCH: What is the worst thing about 'adulting'? 

Ask for help when you need it

A lot of us are privileged enough to have friends and family who have interests and skills in different fields and professions. Take advantage of this as best as you can.

If you know someone who is good a drawing up budgets and finding ways to stick to them, ask them for advice on how you could do the same. No one technique will ever work for two different people, but starting with something is better than trying to figure it out from scratch.

Likewise, be ready to teach others what you have figured out and mastered. 

READ MORE: Spring clean your budget with these 10 good habits so you can still enjoy that after work drink with friends 

Focus your strengths on what's important

If your career is important to you, focus on that. If your physical and mental wellbeing are important to you, prioritise that. When you know what's important, you'll spend less time distracting yourself with things that only clutter your life instead of enhance and improve it.

Take time to consider what's important to you and find ways to develop your strengths around this priority. 

Take care of yourself

We weren't taught much about adulting, but the one thing society goes out of its way to ensure we know is that 90% of adulthood should be about you doing things for everyone else but yourself.

If you continue chanting that maxim and living your life this way, it will wear you out and you'll realise that you didn't get to enjoy one bit of your younger years. Take care of yourself first, because only then can you give 100% into everything you do and to everyone around you.

READ MORE: Strategies of highly self-loving people - plus do our quiz to see if you give yourself enough self-love 

We might not know where to find the kind of schools that teach this sort of thing, but perhaps we could teach each other what the life orientation curriculum failed to teach us. Whether it's how to draw up an effective budget, or how to express your emotions in a healthy way, we all could do with a few tips on how to win this adulting monster that no one should ever wrestle alone. 

*Names have been changed. 

What do you wish you knew about being an adult when you were younger? Let us know here

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