I love weddings. I really do. There’s nothing better than seeing either my friends or one of my family members committing their lives to the person that makes them the happiest.
I love being able to share in the joy and beauty of the day.
However, there’s always one thing that inevitably ruins the fun at weddings for me. And that is the well-meaning, but unwelcome attention from those people who can’t help but comment on the fact that I’m single.
But, believe it or not, and I say this on behalf of most singletons I know, your concern is misplaced.
Yes, it’s nice to have a partner, but we’re certainly not defined by them (or lack thereof), and judging us on the fact that we don’t have someone by our side, especially at a wedding, isn’t fair.
To give you a bit of a guide on how to interact with single people at a wedding, here’s a list of things you shouldn’t say or ask us:
1. So, have you been dating anyone?
Frankly, as far as conversation starters go, we’d much rather talk about the weather. I suppose I could be nice enough to let it slide the first time around, but if you do this at every single wedding I see you at afterwards, consider yourself uninvited to my future wedding.
2. When will you get a boyfriend?
When pigs fly? When the moon turns purple? Oh, the snarky comebacks one could come up with in response to this question.
But, I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’ll get a boyfriend when I want one.
Trust me, I’ve made the mistake of dating for the sake of dating and to not be lonely, and I’ve learned that it’s better to be on your own than to be with someone who feels more like a platonic friend than anything else.
3. When are you and your partner planning to get married? (This one’s for the singles who are dating)
Oh it depends.
If I’m at a funeral can I ask when it’s your turn to die? (Oh, and for the record, don’t follow those questions up with when will you have children, when will you have a second child, etc)
No one likes being asked this. No one.
4. The bride is about to throw her bouquet. You should totally go and join in on the fun.
Not all single people are comfortable with the idea of going to the middle of the reception hall. If you want to, then by all means do (and good for you), but don’t try to force me to join in.
I happen to be an introvert and hate feeling as if I’m being exposed.
5. Oooh, I know someone you should totally meet.
Um, no. I didn’t come to the wedding to find someone to date. And no, I don’t need you to play matchmaker for me. If someone wants to get to know me, I’d rather that it happen naturally and unexpectedly, instead of having someone trying to set me up with someone.
I know that it works for people in some cases, and I’m always thrilled when it does happen, but I’m not up for it, and would appreciate it if you’d not try to decide how I should meet my potential soul mate.
Has someone ever said one of the abovementioned things to you? What else would you add to the list?